“Yeah, I bet you are,” Austin shot back. “Who’d watch your ass if I wasn’t?”
All I had to do was raise a brow to make his cheeks tint red.
“I need to shower,” I said as I slid off the stool and tore my gaze away from Austin. “I’ll be out in a bit.”
I walked out without looking back at him once.
“Oh, yeah. I need one of those too.” I heard Austin say as I rounded the corner.
“The crusty blood on your face agrees,” Remy said.
“This house has three bathrooms upstairs, so you don’t have to wait for Ford to get done,” Reed said.
“Uh huh,” Austin said, already rushing to catch up with me.
29
Austin
“I’m still not eager to talk about it,” I told Remy, though he had no clue what the fuck I was talking about since I’d basically just started up a conversation out of nowhere.
My eyes were glued to the fire pit in the backyard of Reed’s safe house. It was cool here, but not as cold as back in Nebraska. The fire helped to fend off that late-night chill.
He didn’t say anything, so I decided to keep going. Apparently, I had shit I needed to get off my chest.
“I wish...” I pulled in a lungful of crisp air and tried again.“I wish my father never existed. I wish it had never happened.” I gave a sharp shake of my head, knowing I sounded as smooth as the words were coming to me in my head. “But Ford makes me feel like it would be okay if Ididwant to talk about it.”
“That’s good,” he said, staring at me cautiously.
Okay, so just because he was the one I was closest to, didn’t mean that we really talked. Not like this, where I approached him and wanted to sit down and have some beers. Not when it wasmyissues I was working out.
Actually, I was surprised when he nodded and then followed me out here twenty minutes ago. It had taken me a while to get to this point, but I’d done it. I’d broken the awkward silence.
“Life’s a lot easier when we have people we trust. People who we know will be there no matter what,” he went on. “People who will accept us… for who we are.”
“Yeah,” I agreed with a frown. His last statement struck me as odd. “What do you mean by that?”
“What?” he asked, quickly taking a gulp of beer.
“The last part. What about me is odd enough for you to say that exact thing.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it.” His lips twisted to the side. I was making him uncomfortable. I should have just drank the beer in silence and appreciated a strong, non-verbal male bonding moment for just that.
“I think you’re right, though,” I said, clearly needing the talking kind of bonding moment.
“I’m not pushing you to talk, Aust—”
“I know. I’m just talking. If you want me to shut up, you’re going to have to say those words exactly. Until then, you’re gonna help me figure some shit out. Because I need a best friend, and I’ve decided you’re gonna be it.”
He snorted into his beer, his lips twitching behind the rim and he stared at me over the top of the glass with a twinkle in his eyes.
“Did you always know that you like guys?” I asked, turning my focus to the fire.
“Yeah,” he said. He shifted in the chair, but the way he moved made me think it was more to get pressure off of his prosthetic leg than because he was uncomfortable with my question. “Figured it out pretty early on. But that might not be everyone. We each have our own experiences, and the world around us also helps to shape what we see… or don’t see. Or… you know, sometimes it isn’t until later that it just clicks.”
“So what if I said that I never felt attraction toward anyone before?” I took a sip of my beer, hoping that he couldn’t seehow my hand was shaking a little. It wasn’t so much the subject matter, I didn’t think. I didn’t have a problem figuring out what was going on with me. It was more the whole talking and opening up part. I was still getting used to it. But if I didn’t push myself, I’d never grow.
The door to the house behind us clicked. I turned my head, looking over my shoulder to see Jameson standing there. His eyes went from me to Remy and back again. I wasn’t sure I liked the way he cocked his head and stared me down.
