“I’m so tired,” he said. “I keep pushing my past away and hiding who I am. I just keep running and running, but I’ll never be able to outrun the shadow of my father.”
His words broke me. Something inside of me flared to life. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight. He was stiff for a long minute, every muscle coiled so tightly they were nearly twitching.
“It’s okay,” I whispered into his ear, not entirely sure where the words were coming from. “I’ve got you.”
His body expanded with a deep breath. Then slowly— inch-by-inch slowly— he began to relax into me. His head dipped, falling onto my shoulder. His shoulders rounded toward me. His arm didn’t hug me back, but I felt the brush of his fingers on my hip.
It only lasted for a few breaths. Then I felt his body tense again. I knew it was coming before he even moved.
With all of his strength, he pressed his hands against my chest and pushed me away. I released him and let my body fall back a couple of steps, though every instinct screamed at me to hold on to him.
“Fuck you!” he yelled, back pressed against the side of the barn again as he glared at me like a cornered animal.
“Me?” My voice held a hint of shock. I didn’t understand what was happening now. I took a stumbling step back, almost hurt at his coldness.
“Fuck you,” he said, but he’d lost some of his fire. “I don’t want this. I don’t want you here. I don’t want you being nice to me. I don’t want to talk about this shit. Why…”
He stared at me with a gaze that threatened to cut. He lunged at me, arms out, hands slapping against my chest. The sting of his hit pierced through to my heart. I knew he washurting, but I couldn’t let him run this time. I couldn’t let him use this emotion as armor.
I locked my legs, keeping myself in place, unblinking as I stared into his eyes.
“Why?!” he said again after a few heaving breaths. “Why are you doing this?!”
After the third shove, which seemed to have lost its steam by the time his hands met my chest, I’d had enough.
I stepped into his space again.
“What are you scared of?” I nearly growled, my chest pressing against his, our noses brushing.
“You!” he yelled at me. His eyes locked onto mine, matching the fury I held in my own. “This!”
To say that I was surprised at the turn this had taken would have been a massive understatement.
What?
It took me a long minute of replaying his words in my head for them to sink in.
I swallowed hard, holding his gaze as I tried to figure out what he needed from me now.
“Why?” I asked, my voice nearly a whisper.
Pressed together, our chests seemed to heave in rhythm with the same breaths.
I brought my hand to his chest, pressing firm against him as his heart galloped under my touch.
“Because you make me question…everything.” He swallowed thickly. “And I don’t know what to do with that.”
17
Austin
His lips were right there.
Right there.
His bottom lip brushed over mine as he inhaled a sharp breath at what I’d said, but I didn’t think he’d done it on purpose.
Why had I opened my mouth? Why had I said something that made me so vulnerable?
