"Eat the fucking sandwich, or I'm flashing my titties to the grandpa two tables over, and you'll be solely responsible for the heart attack it will give him." I take another bite of my food, holding her gaze. Via snorts out a small laugh, and the corners of her mouth curl into a slight smile.
"You wouldn't dare," she whispers as her eyes flash to the old man in the booth down from us, casually sipping his coffee and reading his newspaper.
I raise a challenging eyebrow. "I wouldn't, would I? Keep playing with your food rather than eating it, and you'll find out." I shrug as if I'm uninterested.
Via rolls her eyes and lets out an annoyed huff, mixed with a soft chuckle.
Slowly, she begins to eat, and silence falls between us for a bit.
"I've been thinking," she says, breaking the silence after a few minutes have passed.
"Oh, yeah? That could be scary. I'm here for it. Hit me with it."
She takes a deep breath, steadying herself before continuing, "I think you're right—"
"Of course I am. I'm always right. Duh... What am I right about this time, exactly?"
My attempt to make her smile fails horribly.
Instead, she frowns, tears rimming her eyes, but she doesn’t let them fall. "I need to get out of here, Iz. It's too late to go to Chicago since I already pulled out, and honestly, art school reallydoesn't appeal to me anymore." She sighs. "I've been thinking of going into nursing. I want to help people. I want to give others a chance to survive when the odds may be stacked against them."
I nod, staying silent, giving her the space she needs to process her thoughts and speak freely.
She shakes her head as if clearing a thought from her mind. "I found a school in Arkansas. I know it's a lot to ask, and you still don't know what you want to go for, or if you even want to go to college at all, but—"
"Are late admissions still open? It's already July."
"Yes." She nods her head. "I already spoke to the admissions office."
Silence settles between us for a minute or so.
Via lets out another sigh as her resolve fades. I look over and meet her fragile gaze, seeing more tears forming at the brim.
"I still feel so guilty." She looks away, shifting her gaze to the window and the bustling streets of the downtown city. "That night, everything changed. If I had just stayed home, they'd still be here. I'd still havehim. Life wasn't perfect, but it damn sure wasn't like this." She sniffles, wiping her nose with a napkin. "I don't know if I'll ever be okay again. Some days, I think I'm doing fine, and then it hits me." Her tears finally fall and turn into a soft sob.
I stand from my place in the booth, walk over to her side, and force her to scoot over and make room for me.
I don't speak, just wrap my arms around her and pull her to me, letting her know I'm here.
My own thoughts begin to swarm and infest my mind.
How the hell will I tell Via that, on the night she lost everything, Jett and I created a life?
Jett.
How will I tell him?
Via speaks again, pulling me from my thoughts. "Most days, I wish I would’ve died with them, Iz. It would’ve been better than only existing. Because what I'm doing right now isn’t living. I don't feel like I deserve to live when they aren't here, and it's all because of my choices."
Feeling the lump in my throat grow, I hold back my own tears that threaten to spill.
I want to assure her that none of this was her fault, but she doesn't need me to tell her how to feel. She needs me to be here to listen to her.
So I do.
"I lost everything, Iz—everything except for you. You're all I have left. Honestly, if it weren't for you, I probably would have given up by now. You keep me afloat. It's a lot to ask, but I can't do this without you."
I nod, processing her words.
