‘I see,’ Brigid said slyly.‘And what does your mother have to say about all that?’
‘Doesn’t know.Or not much.’Rose may not have known, Kick thought, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have a sense.Or something.She had asked Kick to stop seeing Billy, to give up all thought of him, and Kick had said she would.It was the first time she had deliberately lied to her mother.Because of that, she no longer found any comfort when they prayed together, and maybe her mother sensed it, because bit by bit, they began to pray alone.‘Have you said your prayers, Kathleen?’Rose would ask, but she no longer suggested Kick come to her bedroom and say them with her.It was the opening of a gap that could only get wider.Kick knew it.But she didn’t know how to stop it.
‘Did you really leave the south of France in your tennis clothes?’Brigid asked.
‘We did.’Kick laughed.‘There I was, about to win a set, and the message came from Mother that Hitler was invading Poland, and me and Eunice were to leave at once – that very minute!– and our things would follow.’
‘How exciting,’ Brigid spoke enthusiastically.
‘It was.I suppose.But you know, it was … well, it was sad too.Mother said something about who knew when we would be back on French soil, and what it would look like by then, and suddenly I sort of thought a great deal more about what war might actually mean …’
‘Yes,’ Brigid said.‘In all the talk of what must be done, one rather forgets all the things onecan’t, any longer, do.’
‘You know Jack and Joe were in Germany just two weeks ago?How strange it seems now …’ Kick trailed off, then reached over to stub out Brigid’s cigarette, which was still smoking in the saucer.‘They saw Unity.Jack thought she was about the strangest person he’s met.Said she was the most fervent Nazi he ever encountered, and quite in love with Hitler.’
‘Poor Unity.’Brigid got up and walked to the window.She pulled herself up onto the rather high window seat, and sat with her legs tucked under her, looking out to the street below.‘What does Debo say?’She opened the window a crack.The air smelt cold and fresh, of apples and wood fires, in contrast with the heat of the bedroom and its clinging hint of perfume.
‘That only Unity could take a bullet to the brain and survive.That she will outlive them all.You know Debo.’Kick shrugged a little.‘And underneath she is terribly sad and sorry and rather mortified, only she won’t ever say it.Even insists that it’s a good thing Unity pulled the trigger herself, because of how she’s a terrible shot, and if someone else had done it – and they most surely would – they wouldn’t have missed and she’d be dead by now.’
‘Which is exactly what everyone else wishes had happened,’ Brigid said bluntly, turning back towards Kick.‘Then they would be able to commiserate decently with Lord and Lady Redesdale, and forget all about it.This way, no one knows what to say and it’s terribly awkward.Chips is simply furious.Says it’sSo like Unity, who always was impossible.’
Kick laughed.‘How like Chips.’Then shuddered.‘Can you imagine?She is in hospital in Munich, and they say the bullet cannot be got out.That to remove it would be more dangerous than to leave it where it is.’
‘The iron has entered her soul,’ Brigid quoted.‘Except that, being Unity, it’s her brain, not her soul … Chips is helping to get her out, although she cannot be moved yet.Says Hitler is being frightfully decent and visiting her.’
Kick made a face.‘How is Chips?’
‘He’ll be here any minute so you can see for yourself.You’ll notice a change.’Brigid laughed.‘All of a sudden he’s terribly patriotic, but also still insisting that Hitler is badly advised and will soon come to his senses.’
‘And Honor?’
‘Worried that she hasn’t heard from Doris and pestering Andrews to see if there has been any post or any phonecalls.It seems there is a girl called Hannah arriving tomorrow.Someone Doris knows from Berlin.Doris arranged it.Actually, I think your father has something to do with it, only I don’t know what … Anyway, Doris made the plans, and the hope is that the girl’s parents will follow later.But now Honor has heard that Hannah travels alone – Michaels is to meet her at Euston station – not with Doris, and she can’t get Doris on the telephone, and she’s fretting.There is never anyone in when she telephones to the flat in Berlin, and now so many days have gone by without hearing that she is in rather a state …’
Teddy tapped at the door and put his head around to say, ‘Mother says you’re to come down.’He was wearing a hat with paper stuck along the sides to make it round, like the Home Guard.
‘Alright.And don’t let Mother see you wearing that hat.’And to Brigid, ‘She thinks we are all far too English.’Then, ‘Come out with us tonight?Jack is here.He sails home with us on theWashingtonnext week and tonight he’s taking me to the Café de Paris.’
‘Who else will be there?’
‘Billy has leave.’
‘I rather thought he might,’ Brigid said slyly.
‘He’s dining with his parents, but says he’ll meet us later.He and Jack get on real well, you know,’ with one of her brightest smiles.‘Jack’s thesis for Harvard isEngland’s Foreign Policy Since 1931.Billy is helping him a whole lot.’And she sang along with Glenn Miller’s band, aboutwishing long enough then wishing will make it so …
‘I told him Jack thought as he did, not like Pa,’ she continued then, ‘when we were at Kelvedon, but I don’t think he believed me.Not until he met Jack.That changed everything.’She spoke with satisfaction.‘They met at the Mountbattens when we went to lunch there, and had such a long talk.And the very next day, just as I had given up thinking he ever would, Billy asked me out.Only to the pictures, but still …’
‘Do you not think that when you go back to America all this will fade?’Brigid asked as she climbed down, gesturing around the room and out towards the street outside.
‘How do you mean?’
‘Well, you know.When you’re not here anymore, it – we – will all start to dwindle and recede and seem like a funny little dream you had?Everything in America is so much bigger and shinier and louder.Even your fridge.’Brigid laughed.
‘Never,’ Kick declared.‘Mother thinks my real life is back in America, but I know it’s not.It’s right here.Now, come on.’
That evening, she and Jack made their way to the Café de Paris through streets that were completely, carefully dark.Blackouts had begun.They walked, even though it was more than half an hour, because Jack said he wanted to.‘Can’t you feel how eerie it is?’he said excitedly, as they made their slow way through Hyde Park, stepping around the slashed ground, then along Piccadilly, where the occasional car with black paint over its headlamps moved slowly past them, as though feeling its way into the night.
‘Don’t,’ Kick said.
