I stood there, mouth open, stunned into silence.
‘Halle… wow.Thanks for the offer, that’s… That’s so kind of you.I don’t know what to say.’
‘Say yes!’ she beamed.
‘I want to.I really do.I meant what I said last night.I don’t want to lose you.’ I paused for several beats.‘But I can’t.My life is here – in LA.And I… I can’t give you what you need.I’m not boyfriend material.’
‘Oh.’ Her shoulders slumped and my stomach dropped.‘I thought you had feelings for me.Our date yesterday… the songs you wrote, our connection…’
‘Idohave feelings for you.Idowant to be with you, but I… I just can’t right now.I need to get my shit together first.And it wouldn’t be fair for me to ask you to wait.I know you’re mainly asking because you know I don’t have a home any more which is kind but I don’t want you to pity me.And I don’t want to hold you back.’
‘Right.’ The silence stretched and her gaze dropped to the floor.‘Where will you go?’
‘An old friend of mine, Liam Stone, has a house in LA that he rents out that’s just become vacant.The new tenants don’t move in until next month, so he’s said I can crash there for a few weeks.’
‘That’s good.’ Her face brightened for a second, then fell again.‘I’m glad you’ll have somewhere to stay.Wait.Liam Stone the actor?’
‘Yeah.He’s one of the few good ones who still checks on me every so often and didn’t ignore my calls when my life went to shit.’
‘And what about your music?’
‘I’ll keep working on it.I’ve put the feelers out to see if I’m able to call in some favours to get studio time.If not, I’ll get a job somewhere to pay for it.’
She nodded, then got up.
At first, I thought she was so pissed off with me that she’d left.But then Halle came back holding a white envelope.
‘Here.’ She handed it to me.
‘What’s this?’ I said, turning it over and ripping it open.When I saw what was inside my eyes bulged.
It was filled with cash.
‘It’s all the money I earned from doing nails this week.I want you to have it.Use it to put towards your studio time, food or rent.’
I opened my mouth to speak then closed it again.
My mind raced and my heart swelled.
From what Halle had told me, she didn’t make much from working in the juice bar.And because she didn’t get much vacation time, she wasn’t getting paid whilst she was here either, so I knew it’d be a struggle for her to make ends meet this month.
The money that she’d earned from doing nails would be important to her.
That’s why I couldn’t believe that she’d give it all to me.
That she’d make that sacrificefor me.
That she’d make her own life harder to make mine easier.
‘I can’t take this.’ I closed the envelope and handed it back to her but she refused to take it.‘You worked hard for this.You earned it fair and square and you need it too.’
‘No.I want you to have it.Use it to make your career a success.I know it’s only a few hundred dollars and I wish I could give you more, but it’s all I have.Please. If you won’t come to New York, and even if we never see each other again…’ She swallowed hard and my stomach twisted at the thought.‘Even if we’re not together, I still want you to succeed.I want you to be safe and happy.’
I had no words.
This woman was fucking incredible.
My heart squeezed and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that when a tear rolled down my cheek, I didn’t even wipe it away.
