“Likely. Yes. That is why you feel him still.”
I looked at him sharply, resentment flaring hot inside me.Notwishful thinking.Notan echo.Nota ghost. “You made a fool of me.”
He waved an arm, the gesture encompassing the world beyond. “He might as well be dead. He’s buried out there in the vastness of the Crags. There is no way to locate him. No way to unearth him. Any attempt to do so will fail.”
And did he want that? I peered suspiciously at his face. “We have to find him,” I insisted with a slow shake of my head.
“If it could be done, then I would have done it.”
“No.” I whipped my head in a fierce shake. “I don’t accept that.”
“I was afraid you would react this way.” His gaze searched my face. “It’s impossible to find him and I didn’t want you to think you could … and then live with the torment once you realized we could do nothing.”
“Such kindness,” I mocked. “You know what I keep hearing?” I asked haltingly.
He stared at me blankly.
I felt my face catch and hold tight, scrunching with anger. “Whatyouwant.”
A flicker passed over his features that resembled hurt, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or just hit him.
“I did not sign my life over to you,” I added heatedly. “It is not foryouto make my decisions.You, who are so concerned withmytorment, but what of Fell? What of his torment? He’s buried alive! For over a year now. Yourbrother!”
I pressed a fist to the center of my chest, pushing, rubbing deeply with my knuckles against the sudden surge of pain there as I imaginedthat. As I imagined Fell alone in eternal darkness.
SuddenlyIfelt like it was me buried beneath the ground, piles and piles of rock pressing down on me. I couldn’t breathe. My body fought for air, jerking, shuddering like something dead,dying, writhing on the ground for its last breath. I bent at the waist, bracing my hands on my knees as I gasped.
“Easy now,” Vetr soothed, as though I was some fragile, wispy thing, a reed on the verge of blowing away. I looked up—wanted to claw his eyes out for his conciliatory tone. I considered that tempting prospect for a heartbeat … thought about snapping my talons free and dragging them down his face. I was full of such wrath that the fantasy bolstered me.
He clearly didn’t understand my rage or sense of betrayal.
I was struck with the familiarity of it all. Had I learned nothing? I’d been here before. Tasted betrayal. Experienced its stinging cut. It was something I knew well.
First my parents—the only parents I had ever known—tossed me to the altar, discarding and sacrificing me without a blink, like I was nothing more than rubbish.
Then there was Stig’s betrayal.
And now Vetr’s.
Only Fell had never forsaken me.
But you abandoned him.
Vetr’s arm circled my waist as though lending comfort, and I shoved at his chest, backing away. “You swore he was dead … and now you tell me he is not.” I took several bracing breaths. “You’ve hidden this from me.” I shook the necklace.
“What can I do to make this right for—”
“You can find him,” I said, hating the twisting plea in my voice.
He grimaced. “I wish I could.”
“Then I will go! I’ll find him,” I cried, my voice determined.
I felt this conviction deep in my bones, in the telling tingle of my hand. I knew I could find him. I was not afraid to go out there alone.
His grimace fell away, and his expression hardened into unyielding stone. “That’s not possible.”
He made me feel like an underling who dared to challenge him. Worse than an underling … he made me feel like a prisoner.
