“Mama said you'd try.”
“Your mama said?” A fire lit in Kizzie's chest and burst warmth into her face. “She's another reason to set you free, Charles. She already controls so much of your world. Why would I stay and watch her turn you against me and your babe?”
“I appease her so things will be easier for all of us. You can't understand.”
“Right?” A humorless laugh shook from her. “Which means you have to choose sides, and that's not the way things are supposed to be. I've already seen how you've been changing toward me because of the fight between your mama's wishes and what care you have for me.” Emotions scratched at her throat. “She despises me, and someday she'll turn you against me too.”
“That's a bit harsh, Kizzie.”
“Is it?” She narrowed her eyes right back at him. “Did you know she's been trying to scare me off? That she's behind the folks attacking the house?”
He shook his head. “What?”
“She's the one who sent men a few nights ago too. Shot up the place. Broke some windows.”
He took another step back, continuing to shake his head. “There ain't no reason to make up stories just to justify your choices.”
She stared at him, the hard edges of his face, the distrust distancing him even more than the few feet between them. This was only the beginning of his mama's influence, and they'd only known each other a year. What would happen after two years, or five? She'd rather leave with Charles thinking good of her and caring for his little boy with whatever care he had than to have him send her away in disgust or shame … or hatred.
“I'm going to believe you know me well enough to come to the right conclusions, but if you won't believe me for who I am, then …” She raised her chin. “Ask your cousin, Cole. I think he recently hurt his shootin’ hand? A bullet wound, if I'm not mistaken?”
The tension in his face slacked. “How did you—”
“I shot him.” She refused to look away. “I didn't know it was him when I shot him, but he was with five other men throwing rocks at the house and shooting into the side of it. They shouted all sorts of ugly things. I don't know who all else was with him, but they meant to run me off.” She cleared her throat, the tactile memory of the fear closing off her breath a little. “I was scared and shot at them to get them to leave.” Her eyes narrowed. “But I could have killed ’em if I wanted. I'm a good shot. Best squirrel shooter in the family.”
His eyes grew wide.
“I heard ’em talkin’ that your mama paid them to scare me off, and that's when I saw your cousin's face in the moonlight.”
He rocked another step back. “No.”
“You don't have to believe me, but that don't mean what I'm sayin’ ain't true. You're gonna believe what you want to believe anyway, and I can't change that. But it's all the more proof I need to leave, not just for my safety but for Charlie's. ’Cause if your mama is desperate enough to send men to shoot into a house where a single woman and child live, then she may become desperate enough to do worse.” Her eyes burned now, the admission puncturing her control. “And if I have to trick you into marryin’ me, then I don't want you marryin’ me a'tall.”
“Kizzie—”
“I have never been anything but honest with you. And I may have lost knowin’ who I was in the idea of bein’ your gal, but I'm not lost no more. If I marry, I want it to be because someone chooses me for me, not because he's forced or tricked or talked into it.”
“I didn't mean—”
“And if you really wanted to marry me, Charles, really truly …” The truth knifed through her as she spoke. “And your mama wanted your happiness, then I think you'd fight a whole lot harder for us. And she'd learn to love who you love, is how I see it.”
Which only proved all the more he didn't love her. Not like she'd thought … or hoped.
“Please, Kizzie.” His voice softened in entreaty, sending an ache through her. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse. But it's a delicate situation, with social expectations and family land …” He stepped close again. “Why can't we go on like we are?”
“Because it'swrong,Charles. Don't you see it? All the love in the world can't make wrong choices into right ones. I believe you care about me and Charlie, but you're not free to live your life.” She pinched her eyes closed. “And neither am I.”
“But when Mama dies—”
Her humorless laugh broke into his mantra. “Your mama ain't never gonna die. She's gonna live forever out of sheer spite, if she don't turn you plumb against me in the process.”
“She won't—”
“It's happening right now, with you questioning my motives.” She shook her head. “And do you really plan to put your life and mine on hold until then? Five years? Ten? Twenty? Your mama ain't old, Charles.”
He fell silent, his jaw tense again.
“I've got to learn to rely on God and my own wits because I can't expect you to rescue or love me in the way you would if your heart wasn't split between two worlds that don't fit together.” The tears won then, a strange combination of burning out of her eyes to cool her cheeks. “So instead of forcing you to choose one and live with that guilt, I'm choosing for the both of us. So we can both be free.”
