She pressed her fist against her chest and stared at him one last time, attempting to memorize his face. Maybe someday she'd be able to tell Charlie about how his hair curled like his daddy's or how he had the same little bend in his nose. Her vision blurred and she blinked, backing away from the window and returning to the front door.
Mrs. Pool opened to her knock and ushered Kizzie in, clearly mistaking her for one of the guests.
“No, thank you, Mrs. Pool.” Kizzie took the letter from her pocket and offered it to the woman. “I'm only here to ask you to deliver this directly into Mr. Morgan's hands, if you will.”
Mrs. Pool's hazel eyes grew so wide, a few of the wrinkles flattened out. “Kizzie McAdams?” She scanned Kizzie from hat to boot tip. “Why, you look—”
“I don't want to cause any fuss,” Kizzie continued, taking a step back toward the porch, “but I'd be much obliged if you'd get that letter to Mr. Morgan as soon as possible without disrupting his evening. Will you do that?”
The older woman nodded, continuing to stare.
“Thank you.”
“Mrs. Pool, Mama's calling for you.” Charles’ unmistakable voice came from the next room, so Kizzie turned and without another word darted off into the growing dusk. Wind whipped around her with a few flurries spinning through the night air. Golden light from the setting sun still shone enough to light her path for a while yet, at least to get her to the Chappells’, and she had a short ride to the house after that.
She'd just reached her buggy when someone called her name.
Her shoulders slumped.
Charles.
With a deep breath, she turned to face him. He ran toward her, coatless, his hair bouncing in the breeze and a paper waving in his hand as he approached. Her letter, no doubt, but he couldn't have read it all in the short time it took for her to leave the house and make it to the buggy.
“What is this?” He waved the paper in the air as he approached. “You're leaving?”
“I explained things in the letter.” Her heartbeat ratcheted up, pounding in her ears. “It's for the best.”
“For whose best?” He drew closer, his jaw clenched, eyes blazing. “Is this because I went away?” He waved back at the house. “Because of Lorainne?”
Ah, right. That was his cousin's friend's name. Lorainne.
“Your leaving just helped make things clearer, Charles. We can't keep living this way.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “I don't want to make this choice, but it's the right one.”
“The right one?” He searched her face, his approach slowing, almost predatory. “For who?” His frantic gaze roamed over her face. “BecauseIdon't want you to go.”
“And yet I can't stay.” A little spurt of fire shot through her. “Have you thought at all about what it's like for me living as an outcast? What it will be like for Charlie?” She waved between the two of them. “This thing betwixt us, it ain't right.”
“You're saying love isn't right?” He stepped nearer, towering over her, heat fairly radiating off him.
“Love?” He'd never mentioned love before. Her resolve shifted a little. “Maybe because I love you, I realize the only way you can truly be happy … is to be free.”
Air shot out of him, his frown deepening. “What?”
“We're both stuck, Charles. Neither one of us can move forward with our lives. You have me and Charlie in the shadows, always reminding you of your past. And … I don't think we can belong in your future.”
“You belong to me.” His words burst out, and then he sighed. “With me.”
Belong to him? No, she knew the truth now. “No, I don't. Not in a way that matters to God and the people watching us. Not in a way that I'm willing to live with anymore.” She gentled her voice, touching his arm. “I love you something fierce. And I don't want to hurt you at all.”
“Then don't.” He growled out the words.
Tears invaded her vision, but she raised her chin against the tug toward him.
“By leaving now, I keep you from hurting a lot worse. And I keep Charlie from hurting worse too.” She searched his face. “Can't you see how the hurt will only grow the longer we live in this in-between place? It will hurt Charlie. His reputation, because he's going to grow up and realize that even if his daddy loves him, it's not enough to let him claim his daddy's name.”
“Is that what this is all about?” He jerked back from her, eyes narrowed. “Are you trying to manipulate me into marrying you by doing this?”
She stared at him, hoping he'd realize the nonsense of his question.
