“I thought … I thought Charles loved me enough to marry me.” She wiped at her eyes. “I really believed it.”
“I know, but if he loved you, girl, he'd either marry you or show some restraint. Continuing to act like he's your husband without the assurance and protection of his name ain't lovin’ you or Charlie at all.” Her gaze searched Kizzie's. “And I think you're startin’ to know that.”
Kizzie looked away, the truth rising into clarity.
“You're takin’ all the risk. He's gettin’ all the benefits. Love don't work that way.” She tapped a finger beneath Kizzie's chin, raising her gaze up to hers. “Real love, God's or otherwise, is a giving sort of love. More than presents, but of ourselves for the other's best. Just like what we celebrate in a few days with Christmas, Kizzie. God gave everything to show us how much He loved us. Everything for our good.”
The conversation turned to Charlie, then to Joshua and Nella's dreams, but the whole while a simmering realization bubbled beneath the surface, waiting for Kizzie to acknowledge what her heart already seemed to understand.
God loved her.
Anyway.
He loved her.
Always.
He loved her because He loved her, so there was no way to get out of it.
And—her breath caught on the admission—maybe she didn't want to.
“Your numbers look good, Nella.” Kizzie pushed the ledger back toward her friend. “I only found three little errors. That's not as many as last time.”
“And you're seein’ the growth, ain't ya?” Nella took the ledger into her arms. “Joshua told me to make some dresses to sell. I've been too nervous to try, but he thought it was worth a chance.” She tapped the ledger. “And that's what you see over the past three weeks. My dresses have been sellin’. Mrs. Berry took a few last week and told me she's gonna need more right away, they sold so fast.”
“Well, it's about time. Ruth bragged and bragged about your skill with a needle and said you were too skittish to let others see your gift, but it's right here.” Kizzie tugged at the sleeve of the woman's simple, yet lovely, day dress. “This one's even got puffed sleeves and some detail at the cuffs. A dress a woman can wear every day but still feel a little fancy in.”
“If we can just get Joshua a way to start his business, we could finally buy us a place within a year or two.”
Nella's statement paused Kizzie's response.
“Joshua just needs access to the river for his mill, right?”
“Sure does. A good spot. But we're too far from the river—”
“But my land.” Which still sounded strange to say aloud. “My property goes down to the river. I don't know if the spot is right for a mill, but, well, what if you and Joshua came to look at it?”
Nella's attention zeroed in on Kizzie. “What do you mean, girl?”
“I mean, that if all you need is river access, then you know somebody who'd be willing to give it to you.”
“Now, Kizzie, that's your—”
“I didn't have anyone when my daddy cast me out. No place. Nobody willing to take me in.” Kizzie took Nella's hand. “But you and your family did more than just take me in and help me with Charlie. You let me be a part of your family. I was alone in so many ways. Didn't know what in the world to do with a baby. And …” Kizzie drew in a breath, warmth pooling in her eyes. She squeezed Nella's hands. “Maybe God sent me to helpyoutoo.”
Nella's gaze paused in Kizzie's, the woman clearly speechless.
A wild and wonderful warmth burst through Kizzie's chest at the awareness of her ability to help this family, touch these lives in such a good way. Was this a tiny glimpse of God's joy in rescuing her?
The idea shocked her.
And did He wantherof all people to give, serve, in such a way? Could He believe in her that much? Love her that much even after her choices?
Was her heart even big enough for such a calling?
A puff of a laugh burst from her. “Getting started a little earlier on that dream wouldn't be so bad, would it?”
Nella shook her head and then released a laugh so big, both her boys looked up from their cookies.
