He sits just above my knee, his full weight pressing down and holding me in place, then slips one of his ankles over my lower leg for good measure. I’m completely immobilized on that side.
Fuck him, I’m not going to lie here like a victim. Kicking wildly at his side and arm with my free leg, I feel the blood pounding hard in my head. All my flailing does me no good, though, as he grabs my leg and forcefully shoves it wide, pressing it into the mattress. I’m forced to watch in horror as he pushes my dress up to my waist, so he can get a look at the lacy pink boy shorts I’d put on this morning.
He grunts, his eyes locked on the swatch of fabric between my legs that keeps me from being completely exposed to him.
“Get off me, Nick. You touch me, and you’ll regret it until the day you die.”
“Is that so? I thinkyou’llregret it. Because my plan”—he reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a small black case—“is to use these on you until you’re so messed up no one will want to come near you again. I’m going to own you. Recognize this?”
I flinch as he holds the case right in front of my face. Of course I recognize it. What did my parents do, allow him into my bedroom after I left?
“I see you do.” He snickers, mocking me.
That case holds my razor blades. I left my demons behind on purpose. I should have thrown them in the trash or hidden them better. There’s no explaining why I didn’t. And now Nick’s about to reverse all the healing I’ve done in the last few months since I finally broke free of him.
“These men you fuck, they don’t want a head case, do they? They have any clue how screwed up you are?” He tosses the case next to my side, then takes his fingertips and runs them over the faint silvery lines on my inner thigh. “Between this and how you can’t shut up about Will.” He raises his voice an octave, mimicking me. “I miss him so much. I have to find out what happened to him. My best friend wouldn’t have left me.” He throws his head back and laughs loudly.
I shudder hard, his touch disgusting me, and my lips press together so tightly, I know they must be losing color. I won’t give him the satisfaction of answering, instead drawing in a ragged breath as I grapple for control over my emotions.
“Ellie, you’ll come crawling back to me eventually, and we’ll see if I’m charitable enough to take you back. It’s definitely debatable.” His lips curve up into a sick grin as he finally tears his eyes from my barely hidden pussy.
He gestures to the case at my side, but I refuse to look down. “What do we say we open it? Show you all your pretties.”
No. No, no, no.I squeeze my eyes shut as I hear the click of the case opening.
“Damn, Ellie, these look pretty sharp.”
My fists clench. I won’t watch him do this to me. It doesn’t matter. I swallow hard, the sharp sting of tears hitting the back of my eyes as he touches my thigh. He runs his fingers over the tiny lines I’d cut into myself as a release and makes me feel the shame of the day he found them on me all over again.
The drag of the razor blade slicing across my skin, opening a fresh wound, has me sucking in an agonized breath. I fight so hard not to give any outward sign that this is affecting me, but my chin trembles. When he pulls it away, my exhale shudders from me. I open my eyes to find him studying me, his head tilted to the side.
“I thought this felt good to you. Isn’t that why you do it? You told me one time it made you feel better,” he says softly, the calculation clear in his tone as he inspects the damage he’s already done. My jaw locks, and I glare at him as he whispers, “Well, if you don’t want to talk, then how about we go again?”
This time, when he cuts me, my entire body trembles. No matter that I’ve sliced lines into my own skin before—this is not the same, not even close. And he sure as fuck doesn’t have my permission. Even worse, I’m forced to stay still to minimize the damage he’s inflicting, when all I want to do is fight like hell. Inside my head, I scream.
And then the third time he cuts through my flesh, I scream aloud, the sound emanating from the very depths of my soul. Tears leak silently down the sides of my face, and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and get away from this devastating ordeal. Get away from the razor blade. From Nick. Fromeverything.
I shut my eyes and will myself back to the house, back to the one place I feel one hundred percent safe—with Kingston, Cannon, and Archer. Nick can do what he wants to me, but he can’t steal the memories of their reverent touches or how good it feels to be in their arms and bask in their adoration. He can’t. I won’t let him.
FIVE
KINGSTON
This is taking too fuckinglong. Nick’s had his hands on Elliot for close to two hours now.Fuck.We come to a screeching halt in the parking lot outside this awful, run-down motel. I don’t want to believe she’s here somewhere, but this fuckin’ app assures us that at the very least, Nick was here. Or more specifically, his phone was.
“Wait here. Lemme see what I can do.” I launch myself from the SUV, but then slow, thinking. They aren’t going to tell me jackshit unless I play this right. I blow out a hard breath and open the door to the motel lobby, striding in purposefully. I definitely don’t look like I belong here, but hopefully neither had Nick.
An older woman with graying hair looks up from the book she’s hunched over. “Yes, we’ll let you pay by the hour, so long as we get the money up front. Stop back by with the room key when you’re done. How long did you need?”
I give her the most charming smile I can manage. “I won’t be needing a room.” I put my hands on the counter and lean forward. “Have you seen a guy recently, a preppy college kid? Blond? About my height?”
She narrows her eyes on me. “You’re not here to cause trouble, are you?”
“I’m here to pick up my sister. Her name is Nick.” I hold out Elliot’s phone with the app’s map displayed, clearly showing Nick’s avatar in our present location. “I can see her right here on my phone. She’s underage. I don’t want to cause you trouble, but the sleazeball she’s with is technically in the process of committing statutory rape.”
Her brows lift almost imperceptibly. It makes me wonder what other horrible things she’s seen and heard around here.
I point at her and wink. “I get that you don’t want trouble. How about if you tell me which room he’s in, and I’ll get her out of there so you don’t have to deal with the mess it’s going to cause if I have to call the cops? That way, your business won’t be associated with a crime, and you’ll come out of this unscathed.”
