Bren frowns as he scans the bedroom. “What the fuck’s going on, Ky? Where’s your stuff?”
I lower my chin and stare at the floor, focusing on the dirty carpet stain. “I’m gonna move back home. I need to get my shit together.”
Bren shuffles uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “You can do that here, with me.”
“No, you don’t understand,” I say, raising my eyes back to his. I need to be brave and get this done. “This is over. Us, we’re over. I caused so much shit for you and Tiff to deal with, and you haveEthan to think about. I cheated on you and I don’t trust myself not to hurt you like that again.” I look away, but not before I watch Bren’s face turn white. The guilt is unbearable, and I feel like the worst fucking person on the planet, but I know this is the right thing, the kindest thing, I can do for him.
“But you’re on your meds now. It’ll be fine. I can forgive you. Ihaveforgiven you.” His voice sounds panicked and fragile, but I can’t bring myself to truly care.
I shake my head. “You haven’t. I see it in your eyes when we fuck. I see the way you look at me with pity and I hate how you have to keep an eye on me like I’m a child. It’s better this way.” I look back at him but focus on his cheek. “Make a go of it with Tiff or find some other boy. Someone who deserves you.”
Bren steps up to me and cups my face with his hands, forcing me to look at him. Tears fall down his perfect face. “But I love you,” he says.
I’ve waited so long to hear those three words, but it’s too late now. I wish I could say them back, but I can’t, because, if I do, I’ll never walk out the door.
A tear of my own spills over, taking me by surprise. “Bren, I ruined your life just by being in it. Take care of yourself.”
I press my mouth to his, hard, tasting the salt of our tears and trying to catalogue the kiss to memory. Then I pick up my backpack and walk out of our bedroom and out of the house, ignoring every single one of Bren’s desperate pleas.
Chapter 26
Kyle
Now
Iwatch Bren leave, unable to take my eyes off his receding form.
“He’s gone?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure you know what you’re doing, Dad?”
Closing the door, I turn to face Lu, who’s halfway down the stairs, leaning on the banister. “I guess only time will tell.”
“I like him,” she says, nodding in approval as she comes down to join me in the foyer.
“Really?”
“Yeah. There’s something about him. He comes across kinda like a tough guy, all rough around the edges with his tatts and stuff, but then his eyes are… I don’t know…” Lu tilts her head to one side, thinking. “Kind maybe. Gentle even.”
My lips curl into a fond smile. “Yeah, he acts tough because he had to, to survive. But he’s the most caring person I’ve ever known. He’ll do anything to protect the people he loves.”
Lu studies me carefully for a moment. “Does Papa know about him? Like does he know he was your boyfriend and that you’re seeing him again?”
“Pumpkin, I’m notseeinghim,” I say defensively. My relationship with Lu is only just beginning to heal. I don’t want this thing with Bren to destroy that.
“Relax, Dad. What I mean is, I don’t want to accidently mention it in front of Papa if he doesn’t know. Or if you don’t want him to know. The last thing I need is for things to get any worse around here.”
I exhale with relief. “No, he doesn’t know. I never talked about him because it was too painful. Look Lu, Bren is married. There’snothinggoing on between us, okay?” I know that’s not entirely true, but it seems like the best possible answer to give her right now.
“But youdowant him back, don’t you?” she says, raising her eyebrows.
Jesus, why does she have to be so damned perceptive? “It doesn’t matter what I want,” I counter. “He’s married and I needto focus on finishing the course and getting a job so things can change around here. You do want that, don’t you?”
“God yes, more than anything,” she says, eyes flashing wide before she smiles.
I gather her up in my arms, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “Thank you, pumpkin. Hey, I don’t suppose you wanna watch a movie together tonight? You’ve finished packing for camp, right?” I step back and look at her.
