When he looked up, his eyes were red. “Despite everything, despite what we’ve done to each other, he’s still my friend. I’ve killed my friend.”
“You haven’t,” I tried to reassure him. “You haven’t, Nix. It was not your fault.”
He bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears.
“The inquiry should be done this week. They interviewed me again on Friday.”
“And it will tell you what I’m telling you — it’s not your fault, Nix.”
He hugged me fast, tight in his arms. He didn’t sob, but I was sure he was crying. We stayed like that for some time,just holding each other.
“You could have been on coke and it wouldn’t have been your fault,” I reassured him. With a pang of guilt, I remembered how relieved I had been when his drug test had come back negative that weekend. “You could have been high as a kite and it wouldn’t have changed it. You couldn’t do anything.”
“I haven’t taken anything since,” he said. “I’ve smoked two cigarettes. Haven’t had so much as a beer.”
I stroked his back through his top.
“I wasn’t on anything at the time, haven’t been on anything for a year, but I can’t bring myself to even sip a drop of alcohol.”
That first day at the hotel… his room had stank of booze.
“The morning of the reshoot…” I started.
He shook his head. “That was Abbe. You know I hate gin.”
“So you weren’t hungover,” I clarified.
He pressed a kiss into my hair. “I just wanted to spend time with you. Alone.”
“And on the phone? In India?”
“Sober,” he said. “When you said you were tipsy, I didn’t want to embarrass you.”
I relaxed further into him. In his arms, with it all out in the open, it really felt like everything else was far away. All of our problems.
But I was already thinking of the potential media this could come with.
I just couldn’t stop myself. Not from wanting the whole world to see the Nix I could see.
“So, the press know?” he asked, running his fingers lightly through my hair.
“Adam said they’ll wait for definitive news onAlvbefore publishing anything,” I told him, my words in his chest. “Or… I guess the inquiry being complete might give them enough reason to publish.”
His chest lifted with a deep inhale. “Can I pay for it to go away?”
Forhimor forher?
“Is it not worth seeing what they have first? Apparently, they don’t have photos where they can see it’s you, but…”
“Okay, yeah, let’s see what they’ve got. I’ll pay.”
“One catch. Adam is the one who told me. He has a connection to the journalist. I might have to suck up to him a little.”
He groaned and his head fell back. “Not worth it, then.”
“Definitely worth it. He wanted to go for a drink, that’s all.”
“That’sall?” he asked, his tone telling me he didn’t think it was a small ask.
