“We have no idea who did it, but our best guess is they wanted your research.”
“Wait, my research,” I said, rubbing my temples. “Is my research even real?”
“Not your Salem witch trials bullshit. Your real research.”
My heart sank as I understood what she meant. Whatever I did here, that’s what made me me. The person I thought I was never existed.
“We might be wrong,” said Lexi, and standing, she walked over and looked down at me like a slightly disgusted bird of prey. “It’s possible she gravitated toward her subject naturally because it was familiar, but it’s also possible that there is something real hidden away in there.”
Lexi and Aspen exchanged an intense look I couldn’t quite understand, and then Aspen stared at me as if still trying to assess if I really was as clueless as I maintained.
“Okay, look,” she said. “There’s more going on than just you skipping town. There were undercurrents of something disturbing in the months leading up to your disappearance. Hildegard as a whole is experiencing something of a splintering. There are those of us who want things to go on as they always have. We are a research institution that prioritizes knowledge above all else. We don’t play politics. We don’t work with governments, especially not ones that commit human rights violations.”
I tried to follow what she was saying, but I felt like my brain was filled with spiderwebs, a thousand vicious arachnids scurrying around in there, envenomating my synaptic connections.
“But that’s changing?” I asked.
“There are some who think the way to continue to exist, to expand even, is to change these basic tenets.”
“Who are these people?”
“Key members on our board and of our upper administration, but they are by no means a majority. And for the most part they are off-site. But we know that you had begun to be suspicious of someone here. We know it isn’t either of us.”
I began to understand. “But you’re not sure about Finn and Dorian.”
Aspen bit her lip, looking uncertain.
“We should tell her,” said Lexi. “She needs to know.”
“They’re more connected to the administration than we are, and regrettably, the old boys’ network is still very much alive and well at Hildegard. We still don’t know who did this to you, and until we know more about how this happened and what you know, it’s best not to involve them directly yet.”
Slowly I looked around the room, still trying to get my bearings. I blinked, trying to focus, but I was incredibly tired.
“So I should keep it a secret? Just go on pretending to be Robin?”
“For now, yes. And we’ll keep referring to you as Robin. You also need to pretend to still be doing your research. Meanwhile, you need to actually be trying to figure out what you know. And we’ll help you as much as we can without drawing attention. That’s the best path forward at the moment, but we can adjust as needed.”
I put my head in my hands. “And this is all about some code? Why are you talking about this like the stakes are through the roof?”
Aspen sucked in a breath. “You really don’t remember what’s out there, do you?”
“No. What is it I’m supposed to remember?”
Aspen looked at Lexi, but again, she shook her head. “Not yet.”
“Look,” she said, “for right now you need to trust us that this is big, really big. And time is of the essence. You need to start getting your memory back as soon as possible.”
I could feel a strange energy coursing through my body. It was close to rage, something like adrenaline, like a powerful angry person was clawing at me from within, trying to spring to life. If this was who Isabelle was, I wasn’t sure I wanted to meet her.
“And if I don’t figure it out? If I don’t remember? What happens?”
Aspen sighed. “Something very bad.”
“Catastrophic,” said Lexi.
I stared deep into their eyes and was struck by what I saw there. Whatever it was they feared, it was something that went down to their cores.
When I was feeling well enough to walk, they helped me to an elevator that took us up two flights to a darkened corridor.
