“He was hopeful this particular doctor might have a cure. That’s why he didn’t say anything sooner. But the doctor said there is nothing to be d-done.” His voice caught, and he buried his face in my neck.
I rubbed his shuddering shoulders, and he clutched the fabric of my dress. “How long does he have?” I asked quietly.
“No one rightly knows. His symptoms are worsening, but the man is stubborn. He will probably live forever—or at least until I have found a suitable wife.”
I stiffened. “Asuitablewife?” I stepped back, putting enough distance between us so that I could look into his eyes.
“Hannah.” He clutched my arms. “I didn’t mean—”
I took another step back out of his reach. His hand lingered in the air a moment before dropping to his side.
“I thought—” I paused to choose the right words. “After all that has transpired between us this summer, I thought we were very near to an understanding.”
“We were. I want desperately to make you a proposal of marriage, but Hannah, my father is dying and—” He pressed his eyes closed and shook his head. “You will never know how sorry I am, but I cannot marry you.”
“I don’t understand.” I stared up at him in a state of shock. “We danced in a darkened ballroom together. We shared soft words. Weheldeach other.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
I shook my head, unwilling to accept his apology. “Was this all a ruse to you? Am I nothing more than a plaything for you to trifle with?”
“No,” he said. “No. You must know that you are not.”
I knew nothing. My heart raced with panic. I could not lose him. Not now, when I was so close to having everything I had ever wanted; love and happiness were only a breath away. “Your father wants you to marry a well-bred woman who is your equal. I understand that, but, Damon, if you care for me as much as you claim to, how can you abandon me?” I could not lose another person I held dear.
“I did not want to tell you like this.” Damon pulled in a long breath. “My father’s failing health is not the only thing he revealed.”
“Go on.”
“In an effort to build up Summerhaven, to add wings and servants and status, he has accrued many debts. He has tried to pay off his creditors by cutting expenses where possible and investing in ventures overseas, but his ventures failed and so did the crops. Summerhaven is on the brink of ruin, Hannah. And because of Father’s worsening health, he has passed the responsibility of seeing the estate through this dark time ontome.”
I sucked in a breath. “Summerhaven is . . . ruined?”
“Very nearly.” Damon nodded, his expression grave.
I lifted my gaze, taking in the vast portrait hall. The portraits, the statues, the tapestries. All of this, all ofSummerhaven, now fell on Damon’s shoulders. I could not imagine the weight of it.
“What will you do?” I asked quietly.
“What elsecanI do?” He paced the floor in front of me, pushing his hands through his hair. “In order to save Summerhaven, I must set aside my own desires and do as my father did and his father and his father’s father and so on, in order that I might ensure the estate’s future.”
“Even if saving it comes at the expense of others?”
He stopped suddenly and looked at me. “Not at their expense, but for theirsurvival. Hannah, I am all that stands between my family, my servants, and my tenants and certain ruin. Imustmarry for money.”
I did not have it in me to cease hoping. I could not accept it. “Surely there is some other way, some investment you can make—”
“If Father had saved in times of plenty, perhaps, but investing takes both time and capital. I have neither.”
“Perhaps a distant relative could make you a loan until circumstances improve.”
“I promise you I have gone over every possibility no less than a hundred times since Father told me of his failing health and the estate’s dire circumstance. Thereisno other way.” Damon’s gaze moved to the wall where the Jennings family crest hung. “Conservabo ad mortem,” he read aloud. “‘I will preserve it until death.’ My father is dying, Hannah. From this day until the day I die, Summerhaven is my responsibility. I cannot be the weak link.”
The gravity of the situation settled in me like an anchor falling to the sea floor, and I knew what he said was true. He could choose me and lose his estate or choose another and save it. I knew what he must do, but . . .
“What about me?” I said weakly.
In two swift steps, Damon stood before me again. “You will be fine. Mother wrote that Ollie has become quite attentive in my absence.”
