Damn, that wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to be some innocent fun between three consenting adults, and after that, they were supposed to have their own little happily ever after while I'd just keep going on lusting and pining after him like it never happened in the first place.
But they broke up. Oh shit, they broke up. And I shouldn't feel glad about that, I really shouldn't.
Because being glad means that there’s hope. Stupid hope.
“Yeah, they did. And some little nagging voice in my head keeps telling me that you've got something to do with this.”
I look up at that, frowning. “I ain't no homewrecker,” I defend myself instantly.
“I know you don'tintendto be, babe. But you can agree that it looks kind of suspicious, right? They hang around you constantly, Kaylee fawning all over you all the damn time, and suddenly they break up, and you're nowhere to be found? I know she was gushing all over you like a lot of people do, but really? Kaylee? I thought Tyler was becoming like a best friend or something with how much you guys hang out.”
I balk at that, offended. “What? Who do you think I am? I didn't do anything with Kaylee.” Sort of, anyway.
Missy arches one brow at me, like she tends to do when she thinks I'm being stupid. Which she does a lot. “Don't insult me, Jace. You forget that I've known you for years. I've seen you at your worst. You can't sit there and tell me that nothing happened. Not after everything that went on last spring, or have you forgotten about that?”
I yank at my hair in frustration and guilt, and I groan. “I swear that I didn't instigate anything with Kaylee.” That’s sort of the truth, now, is it not?
“Well, then what happened if you didn't hook up with her? Did she try something and you refused or what? Is she angry? Or is Tyler angry with you?”
I shake my head, not wanting to voice it. “No, that's not it...” I look at my close friend, not knowing how to explain this without explaining it. I'm not one to gossip. I don't want to start rumors that would put Tyler's sexuality in question. It's not my place to tell.
But it turns out I don't have to, because her eyes widen suddenly as her mouth pops open. I groan again at her reaction. Shit is all messed up.
“Oh,” she starts slowly. “It’s not about Kaylee now, is it?”
I purse my lips, refusing to answer, and she sighs.
“I get it, this is like some sort of gay policy, right? 'Thou shalt not out another gay?'”
When I still don't answer, she sighs again, getting up and throwing her arms around my shoulders. I grab hold of her forearm and nuzzle my face into her belly. Okay, maybe I needed a hug.
“It's okay. I won't ask further. I'm sorry for pushing. But please call him or something? If something happened like I think happened, then I'm sure he's pretty lost right now.” Oh, and if that doesn't make me feel worse. “And I have a gut feeling that you are working through some stuff as well?”
I hear the question in her voice, and I nod against her tummy, her fingers in my hair. She's way too observant sometimes. “Then go talk with him.”
I let her go and look up to her, scrunching up my nose. “Do I really have to talk?”
She snorts again. “Why are all men the same?”
I shrug at that.
“Do you value your friendship?”
I think of Tyler and his unwavering trust, the rock that he is in everything in his life, really. How he took one look at me that day at that bench and decided that we should become friends, just because I didn't have any yet. And he's become so much more to me than just a friend in the short time since. I'm an idiot for throwing it away like this, for ignoring the texts that he's sent me, or ignoring thatthingthat's clearly happening between us.
Just because I didn't want to hear him talking about his girlfriend, which he now apparently doesn't have anymore.
“Yeah, I do. I value it very much,” I answer finally, with some tiny, stupid little sliver of hope in my heart.
“Thentalkfor the sake of all closeted, scared queers out there! I know you've been in that situation yourself. I can remember a very weird summer when I flew over to my grandparents, and you suddenly started wearing lipstick the entire time and wouldn’t tell me why.”
“And pink nail polish,” I add, fluttering my fingers in front of her.
“And verybrightpink nail polish,” she agrees. “While I’m all for discovering your true self and being who the hell you want to be, I’m kind of glad you grew over that one.”
I raise my brows at that.
“I mean, you do you, please do. But I don’t think it suits you that well. Especially now you’re fronting our band.
