He just grins again as he claps his hands together. “I knew it! Did it hurt? Was it good?”
“Oh lord,” I groan as I rub both hands down my face in mortification. “Can’t believe I’m about to talk to you about it, but yeah, it was good.”
“Really?” He looks totally taken aback by that. “Like normal good orgoodfucking good, ya know?”
“Yes, it was good fucking good,” I say, willing my damn cheeks not to heat up that much.
“Huh. Maybe I should try it sometimes.”
“What? Getting fucked in the ass?” He nods. “How? Going to ask Missy to put on a strap-on?”
His grin gets so wide I can see the back of his teeth. “That’s a great idea actually.”
“What’s a great idea?” averyfamiliar voice asks from my doorway.
I surge up and out of my bed. “Kaylee? What are you doing here?” I’mreallyturning into tomato-territory now, wondering what the hell she heard from all of that. I’m not one to blush easily because of my coloring, but Christ, having my ex-girlfriend in my bedroom in which I just had sweaty gay sex, is not what I had in mind.
“Hello to you too, honey.” Kaylee gives me a sweet, honest smile, so I’m fairly sure she didn’t hear what we were talking about. My blonde ex looks like the picture of perfection as always, holding a cardboard box in her arms. “I’m actually here for Lamar. Sorry to barge in like this, but I saw his car out front and I was on my way to his place. The door was open and I called a few times…”
“Ah no. That’s okay,” I say quickly and sidestep so she can take a seat on the end of my bed, box on her lap. Which maybe isn’t the best idea, because there’s probably jizz in the sheets somewhere... Oh shit, my gaze snags on the bottle of lube that’s still out on my nightstand. I really wasn’t expecting company otherwise I would’ve cleaned the fuck up.
Thank fuck Lamar catches my eye and swiftly deposits the bottle in the drawer now that Kaylee’s back is to him. It doesn’t help that he proceeds to make an ‘O’ with his left hand and puts his index finger from the other in the hole, making a crude gesture. Jesus.
“So, why did you need Lamar?” I ask Kaylee as I do my best to ignore the born idiot. I throw some dirty clothes off the surface and take a seat on my old creaky desk chair, facing my ex.
“Because I have something for him that he asked for a couple of weeks ago.” She pets the box on her knees and it… peeps?
“No way! You finally have them?” Lamar is all but bouncing on my bed, almost falling off as he comes closer to sit next to Kaylee, the excitement barely contained on his face. “Can I see?”
“Sure.” She opens the box, lid backwards, and they both immediately have matching broad grins.
I’m at a total loss about what my ex and my best friend are so excited about. Didn’t even know that they kept in touch to begin with.
“Oh, they’re so cute!” Lamar coos–the six foot four 250 pound giant actuallycoos–and I can’t contain my curiosity anymore. So I get up, peek over the box and–
“Are those ducklings?” I ask bewildered.
“Aren’t they the cutest?” Lamar nearly squeals as he very carefully picks one of the two yellow and brown ducklings up, who were nestled up in a fluffy towel. I now notice the holes in the side of the box.
“Oh lookie here! This is Patrice. Say hi, Patrice!” Lamar stuffs the cotton ball in my arms which now is making high-pitched cheeps and yeah, I can see the charm, they’re cute alright. I do my best to hold it as gingerly as possible–I don’t want to squeeze the darn thing to death–and he picks up the other one. “And this is Patrick. Hi Patrick!”
“Patrice and Patrick?” Kaylee asks, a soft smile on her lips. “I’m not really sure what their genders are… My mom found these when she was on call yesterday. She had to help with the birth of a calf that was stuck and found these two. No mother in sight and they’re too small, so my Mom thinks they’re abandoned.”
Right. Her mom’s a vet.
“So, let me guess how his brain worked…” I sneak a peek at Kaylee while Lamar is making baby-noises to Patrick the duckling. “Lamar told you about the duck pics which were actually supposed to be dick pics, and he figured that givingMissy an actual duck was a good idea? So he called you because you’re the closest thing he knows who has a relative who works with animals?
She nods, suppressing a grin. “Almost. Initially he only wanted a picture of a duck. But when I told him he could just Google that himself and asked why the heck he needed me for that, he changed his mind.”
“So that he didn’t waste a phone call?”
She shrugs. “Knowing him? Probably.”
I chuckle and put Patrice back in her box. “So don’t they need a mommy duck? They look small…”
“They don’t. You can raise ducklings quite easily if you have the right equipment,” she answers.
“We’re gonna raise them because me and Missy are their mommies, yes we are,” Lamar butts in before making kissy-noises at Patrick.
