“Oh God.”
“I mean it. Dicks, pussy, I don’t care. I can talk feelings. You’re my buddy-bud. Or actually butty-butt now, with some tees.”
“Don’t say butty-butt please,” I groan, rubbing my face.
“But you are! You totally are my butty-butt. So come on, how was your first time with a guy?” He bounces up and down in his spot, way too excited about this.
“How did you know?” I ask, because I swear, that guy is way too perceptive when it comes to me. It’s why we are such a good team on the field, but in cases like this it can be annoying.
“Your smile man. I haven’t seen you this giddy in like forever.”
I rub my face, ignoring him for now and trying my damn hardest to keep the grin contained. I throw him a bottle of water I brought from downstairs since he texted me not that long ago he would be coming by, and I get back in my seat and open mine. “What do you want to know?” I ask before taking a sip.
“Did you get dicked down real good?”
And there go my lungs. I choke on my sip and cough, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment.
“Ahw, don’t be shy. Nothing wrong with liking some D. Did you know I actually touched a dick once? Well, one that isn’t mine, that one gets petted almost daily.”
I stupidly blink at him, trying to form words, but my brain just won’t cooperate.
“It was in high school, you know? Senior year? Just having some fun with a friend.” He goes on like I’m not having a seizure over here. “One of my buddies was complaining that he never kissed someone, and he hated that he didn’t before he ran off to college. So I was like, why don’t you ask Savannah over there, hell, she gave me my first kiss. Cute girl.”
“So you made him kiss your ex?”
He waves my comment away with his still closed bottle. “Nah. She and I were just having fun. Anyway, he said he didn’t want to kiss girls, only guys. So I volunteered.” He gives me a happy carefree smile. “Even jerked him off a bit in the alleyway next to the cafeteria, came all over my hand. Somehow it’s stickier when it's someone else's jizz.”
My brain freezes at that, and I blink at him, stupefied. “You did what? Are you bi?” I don’t want to assume things since I’m fairly new at this stuff, and I was too stupid to even know for myself that I like dicks more than pussy–to use Lamar's outstanding vocabulary.
“Nah,” he says again. “It was just for fun. I’m positive it's just girls for me. But you’re changing the subject.”
“I’m not. You started rambling about jerking off a guy in high school, could've started with that two months ago.”
“When?”
“When I was busy freaking out about being attracted to guys? Or one guy as it turns out.”
“I never gave you any indication that I wouldn’t be okay with it. And I am. Totally okay with it. The hand job proves it.” He shrugs, opening his bottle without any care in the world. I sigh and fiddle with the cap of my bottle of water. “I knowyouare cool with it. I know our friends are cool with it, and hey; my family is fine with it as well…”
“But you’re freaked out about the team, right?” He hits the nail right on the head.
“Yeah,” I answer in all honesty. “I think our team would be cool with it. But what’s going to happen after? I know the league is waving rainbow flags all over the place, telling the world that they are inclusive, but homophobia is still big in sports, you know? I don’t want that stress on top of my career, if it’s even going to take off.”
“Oh, it is. It totally is. You’re going to be big, everybody knows that.” He quickly knocks on the bed frame, hoping to ward off any potential jinx. “And if you want to keep quiet, I get that. Nobody needs that shit. But also, it shouldn’t matter either way. What you do in your bedroom is your own business, doesn’t have anything to do with the game.”
I give him a nudge. “Thank you, I sort of needed that. Not sure if I’ll do it, though. For now staying inside the closet works.”
“Whatever,” Lamar responds, waving me off again. “But you’re changing the subject again. Is your ass that sore? Can’t you even talk about it?”
“Why the hell do you assume that it was my ass getting fucked?”
“Wasn’t it?” He smirks, and I press my jaw shut, making him chuckle. “You’re a total size queen and you know it.”
“So now you assume that Jace has a big dick?”
“Well? Doesn’t he? If he doesn’t, I know a few guys with big dicks who would love to pound you into a mattress.”
I blink. “How? Wait, no. Please don’t tell me how you know that. And oh my God, I don’t want anyone else. Jace’s dick was perfectly okay.”
