My lips curl back from my teeth. “What do I have to learn from an empty-headed little female like you?”
“Maybe you have things tounlearn.”
“Stop talking. I’m sick of your voice.” I turn over in the furs so I face the wall and force my breath to slow, mimicking sleep. But of course, that does nothing to deter her.
“Why did you tell me about your concubine?”
She knows why. I was trying to prove to her why she should hate me. It would’ve worked on anyone else besides this infuriating creature. I press my lips together, claws extending and retracting with the effort of keeping quiet and still. But the scent of the frixing Frathik invading my senses is not making things easy.
“I think you told me because youneededto tell someone, and you don’t have anyone else. Maybe that’s why the goddess brought us together, because you need someone who will forgive you until you can forgive yourself.”
Frix. I can’t take this inane chatter any longer. “I need someone toshut upbefore I’m forced to choke the breath out of them,” I growl.
“You can hurt me all you want, but it probably won’t make you feel better.” Her voice has a resigned wisdom that surprises me. She is speaking from experience, experience that tells her I probably won’t heed her warning. That I’ll hurt her anyway, and I’ll regret it.
“People have hurt you before.” It’s an observation, not a question, but she answers anyway.
“Yes. I’m sure they had their reasons, like you do.”
“These are the bad things you let happen? Things these people did to you?” I’m shocked at the anger crawling over my skin when she makes an affirmative noise. I’ve been eager to hurt her, but the idea of anyone else doing it makes me furious.
I’m a hypocrite, I suppose, but it’s a family tradition.
“Am I one of the bad things you’re letting happen?” Seems that is the closest I’ll get to Lena’s hatred, since I’m not sure she’s capable of it otherwise.
She exhales softly. “I guess that’s up to you. Seems like you’re trying to be my bad thing, just like you were trying to be your concubine’s. But if you ask her, Lyro, I bet you’re her hero, not her villain. You did right by her. You protected her. You rescued her and returned her to her family.”
Ah, there it is. My little mate isn’t naïve after all. She is a manipulative little schemer.
“Is that what you think I’ll do for you if you play nice? Rescue you and return you?” I mock, feeling like myself again. “It’s too late for that. The goddess gave you to me, just like myfather gave me that concubine. But the goddess is crueler than an emperor, because even if I tire of you, she won’t let you go. So ask yourself...what didyoudo to deserveme? Because I am your punishment, too.”
The next thing I know, she’s crawling into the furs, wrapping her weak little limbs around me. I try and fling them off, but she just clings tighter, pressing her torso against my back.
“What are youdoing?” I hiss, still trying to pry her tiny fingers off my chest. But each one I lift, another replaces it.
“I’m giving you a hug.” She squeezes her arms and legs tighter, her nose nuzzling between my shoulder blades. “You seemed like you needed one.”
“Is that what you call this clumsy assault?” I ask sourly, finally trapping her wrists in my hand and her feet between my knees, though she still struggling to embrace me. I flip over, banding my arms around her to contain her wild, wriggling attempts to strangle my body with hers. “Cease.”
Abruptly, she stops her thrashing, her body melting into mine. Suspicious she might be trying to lull me into complacence, I tighten my hold. She makes a contented sound. “See? If you just let it happen, it’s nice.”
I growl under my breath, debating whether to push her out of the bed onto the floor. But I appreciate how her irresistible scent dilutes that of the frixing Frathik who rubbed himself on my furs. And I can’t deny it brings me comfort to have a soft and willing female in my bed.
It has been a long time. When my concubine shared my furs, I was always conscious that she was not there because she wished it. We took comfort in each other, and I hoped it was pleasurable for her, but it was not her choice to be with me. Her touch was always tainted that way.
This, though. This dim, drowsy tangle of skin on skin and limb over limb. I don’t want it to end. It’s like I’ve tasted foodfor the first time and realized that I’ve been starving all along. My bodyachesfor her, and that’s while it’s pressed against her. I don’t know if I could survive another night without her.
“You okay?” she murmurs, shifting in my arms so she can look over her shoulder at me in the dim light from her pet’s cage. “I can move back to the floor, if you want.”
I shut my eyes so I don’t have to meet her pale, luminous gaze. The more I want her, the more I hate her, because there’s only one way to cut this puppet string. Only one way our story can end, and I won’t be her hero. “Go to sleep.”
She settles down in the furs with a contented hum. “These are so nice,” she whispers, and I pretend I don’t hear. Pretend I don’t feel some sick satisfaction to be responsible for her comfort. Her breath slows and deepens, and only when I’m sure she’s finally asleep do I crack my lids and allow myself to look at her.
The odd rounded shape of her ear catches the light, threads of her pale hair webbing over it. The lobe is temptingly plump, and a thin metal wire is threaded through it, joined in a circle. I risk lifting my hand to catch a claw in its loop, moving the silver ring back and forth. If I tugged now, which would break first, her flesh or my resolve?
I’m beginning to suspect the latter.
Chapter 9
