‘I just love, love, love your dress,’ she replies. ‘I know Mummy was being silly, with all the things she said, but she will agree that you look divine.’
‘Thanks,’ I say simply. I don’t quite feel myself now that I’m here wearing it but, hey, it really is a beautiful dress.
‘Well, come in, everyone is getting glammed up – don’t worry, we have protective gowns, to cover our dresses,’ she explains.
I step into the bedroom and the first thing I see is Tiggy and Eleanor standing on either side of Bea, fussing over her freshly styled hair. Bea is sitting between them, with a face like thunder. She’s clearly not happy with her hair but of course she isn’t, it’s Bea. It looks fine – in fact, it looks like it always looks, but she’s the sort of person who will worry about things not being perfect. On a big day like today, I suspect she will worry about things not being perfect until the day is actually over. Only then will she stop fretting.
The room does feel thick with her nerves – and not just from me. Even though she hasn’t said a word, you can tell that Seph is clearly anxious. Excited, but definitely nervous with it.
‘Oh, and by the way, happy birthday!’ Seph says.
Shit. As stupid as it sounds, I had completely forgotten that it was my birthday. So this is thirty, eh? What a mess.
‘Oh, thank you,’ I reply.
‘I know today is my wedding day, and that we’ve kind of hijacked your birthday, but it’s an honour to share this special day with you,’ she says, warm and genuine, and it truly takes me aback. ‘Don’t worry, okay, because we do have plans for your birthday tomorrow, wewillcelebrate it, but it’s a surprise, so don’t let on that I said anything.’
I grab her and give her a big hug.
‘I won’t say a word,’ I reply. ‘Thanks.’
‘Well, if you do say anything to anyone, make it a thank you to Ethan, because it was him who reminded us that it was your thirtieth birthday, and insisted that we do something special for you. I hadn’t realised it was an important one – you don’t look or act your age at all.’
Ignoring what is possibly a compliment, maybe an insult – the thing that hurts me is the mention of Ethan’s name. I can’t believe he’s stepped in and got them all to do something to acknowledge my birthday. Actually, I can, because he’s amazing, and he really cares about everyone, and I am the horrible cow who sent him away.
‘You’ve got yourself a good one, with Ethan,’ she tells me. ‘I hope you do say yes to him, and I hope you never let him go. Now, come on, let’s get this party started. Tiggy has had almost a whole bottle – of course, being Tiggy, it has had almost no effect on her whatsoever.’
Wow, I didn’t let him go, I sent him away. And I really, really regret it.
Actually, scratch that, I haven’t let go of him at all. He’s all I can think about. That and what happens when Seph and Chester sit on that bloody bench.
I don’t know what I’m going to do.
48
I fidget in my seat, trying to calm my nerves. I’m not the one getting married, but I’m probably the most terrified person in the room.
There is an empty seat next to me that was supposed to be for Ethan. The gap, despite being just one space, seems huge. It just goes to show what a difference one person can make because his absence is really apparent – and it’s not just the physical space that stands out, I feel like he’s going to be really missed, not just by me but by everyone.
‘If you would all like to stand,’ the wedding official says. ‘The bride has arrived.’
I should hope so – she only came from upstairs.
I glance down the aisle where Chester is shifting his weight between his feet. He looks nervous – I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look nervous before. Beau gives him a sort of pat/rub on the back, to steady him.
And there it is, the bench, still exactly as we balanced it last night, so I’m guessing no one has noticed yet. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. God, Chester would be even more nervous, ifhe knew about that, and how it’s not going to take one person’s weight, never mind two.
Perhaps I’m worrying over nothing – perhaps they won’t even sit on it. Wedding ceremonies aren’t as long as they used to be, right? It isn’t a religious ceremony, and they don’t seem like the type to have singing and stuff. Perhaps it’s just a symbolic, ornamental bench. God, I hope so.
As the music starts, I feel someone’s arm brush next to mine.
‘Ethan,’ I blurt in a whisper, my heart skipping a beat or two.
‘We’re a team,’ he replies. ‘If you go down, I’m going down with you. Happy birthday, by the way.’
I can’t help but smile. He could have run for his life but he hasn’t, he’s here – and he’s here for me.
The violinist picks up the pace as Seph and Dad begin their journey down the aisle.
