“Oh, nothing, I’m fine.”
“You sure, love?”
I look down at my tree, “Yeah, I’m sure.”
No. I’m really, really not.
____
“How long was I gone? Ten days? A month?” He says in between kisses as we stumble into his bedroom after speeding home from the tree farm.
“Must've been a freaking year,” I say back, kissing his neck and pulling at his shirt.
He chuckles as he takes it off and says in his low voice, “You missed me.”
After I pull off all that’s left of my clothes, I reach down and palm him through his boxer briefs, “Some parts more than others.”
“Ah, ah,” he tuts as I move my fingers to the elastic, ready for him to be fully naked, “I want to hear it.”
He stares at me, his eyes dark with want and…something else. “Hear what?”
“Tell me you missed me, wife.”
I swallow.
This feels like he’s asking to hear something else, for me to validate something else.
And, my eyes stinging and my throat scratchy, I just…can’t.
“Fine, yes,” I say before tugging. He lets me pull the last fabric barrier down. “Did you miss me?”
“I did,” he says simply.
I turn around and bend over to grip his dresser, “Why don’t you show me how much?”
He hums in appreciation rubbing one hand down my spine while he rips the foil packet with his teeth. He sheaths himself and nudges into me. I inhale happily, and he bends over me, caging around me as he pushes further.
“Let me in, Janelle,” he grits softly into my ear. He sinks in further and repeats, “Let me in.”
He wrecks me, both of us moaning and sweating and losing ourselves. We don’t laugh or tease this time, it’s quiet and hard. He doesn’t say the words out loud again but it’s in every move of his fingers, every thrust of his hips.
Let me in Janelle, let me in.
I just don’t think I can.
41
JANIE
“I take it back, should’ve gone with the short one,” Ben says, squeezing my hand as we enter the sprawling country club.
“We both agreed the short dress was too informal. And you said this was the sexiest dress you’d ever seen in your life,” I say, looking at him. He doesn’t meet my eyes.
“It is, therefore, you should only wear it in the bedroom. Let’s go back,” he jokes. It’s a light joke but his tone’s not quite right. I smile and pull at the plunging neckline of the sparkly black dress in question.
I keep pulling, adjusting. Because I am nervous as hell. He’s trying to distract me, I know, and I appreciate it. Especially when things between us are different. Not tense but not relaxed. Unsure maybe?
But I can’t think about us right this second. We flew all the way out here and Skye is waiting inside. There’s no going back now.
