“Come now, bath time,” I say, my voice all weird.
“Okay,” she moans the word. I set her down by the tub. She starts to pull at the hem of her little gown but her hands are shaking badly.
“Let me.”
“I can—”
“Stop, we both know I’ve been waiting all week to get you naked.” I pull the lacy silk thing over her head.
Oh.
The most perfect breasts that I have ever—
“Ugh, I’m sorry. This sucks.”
Ben! Focus!
Her disappointment, and sniffing, snaps me back to reality. “Shhh,” I kiss her forehead. “We’ve plenty of Saturdays.” She pulls her lacy thong down and I crouch to help her step out of it. “Right, in you go.” I hold her hand and help her sink into the oversized tub.
“Ahhhh,” she sighs into the water.
“Temperature okay?”
“Yesssss so good.”
I smile, “Good.” I grab the little ball. “You want something called a fizzy bomb?”
“Ooo, yes, please.” I chuckle and plop it in the steaming water. It fizzes. Go figure. I grab the spongy thing. “Ben. You are not washing me. Whatever level of marriage that is, we are not there.”
“Right,” I say, feeling a bit out of my depth. I’ve never taken care of a truly sick girlfriend before. Damn, have I ever truly had a girlfriend before?
Bloody useless. I’m powerless now, just watching her sit, grimacing from time to time at pain she must be feeling. I hate this. “Pharmacy!” I say too loudly.
“Too loud.”
“Yes, sorry. What can I get you?”
“My phone.”
“What?”
“I’ll text Harper, she can get some stuff.”
“Malarkey. I can get stuff, what stuff?”
She smiles a small smile, “First, don’t say malarkey and be Brit—”
“Yes, yes, it’s unbecoming. Fine, but I can run to the stupid pharm—” I try to insist.
“Ben, now that you’re here,” her voice is tiny, “I don’t want you to leave me, okay?”
“Oh,” I inhale, my chest expanding to fill the whole room, the whole town. A totally foreign feeling surges through me . Too many feelings to name or sort. I clear my throat but my voice comes out soft. “Alright, my darling. Alright. I’ll stay.”
“Good,” she closes her eyes and doesn’t shoo me away. But then she adds, “Phone.”
“Right.” I startle away, happy to have something to bloody do.
Half an hour later I hear the drain pull at the same time the doorbell rings.
