It had been over fortnight since she had lain with Henry. Although she knew it was rather soon to be with child, Julia knew enough about the marital bed to know that it was a possibility.
Dear God, what would she do?
“What time did you all return? I didn’t see Mr. Edwards at breakfast.” Livie neatly put her breast away and placed a cloth on her shoulder to burp the baby.
“I believe it was a little after one in the morning when Lord Heartford and I arrived.” Julia cleared her throat, feeling as if something was lodged in it. In truth, Livie’s questioning was making her uncomfortable, making her relive the previous night anew.
“Mr. Edwards did not ride back in the carriage with you?” Livie’s head perked up with great interest.
Julia picked up a small book on a side table and flipped through it, but her eyes wouldn’t focus on the pictures or the words. “No, I believe he chose to stay behind to become more acquainted with Lady Pembury.”
“Lady Pembury!” Livie exclaimed, her eyes wide. She hadn’t always loved gossip, especially when she was in the center of it. But now that society all but worshipped her, she enjoyed any succulent piece of information. “I did not think that dallying with such a lady was in his character. I really had hoped he and Miss Beatrice Lewis would have formed an attachment.”
“Is that what you were doing when you invited Miss Lewis? You should not try your hand at matchmaking.” Julia shook her head, knowing that Livie was also trying to force her and Henry together. It was best if she focused on other things and not other people’s relationships.
“Speaking of matchmaking…” Livie trailed off, her gray eyes piercing Julia as if they were a thousand pins and she was the cushion. “You were alone in the carriage with Lord Heartford without a chaperone?”
Julia rolled her eyes. “I do believe alone means without a chaperone.”
“I must know, did anything happen while you were alone together?” Livie leaned forward, her grip firm on Freddy’s back.
Julia’s heart stopped beating as the memories from last night assaulted her anew.
Never.
He would never give up on her, on them. How could he say such a thing when he had given up on her once before? He left her to maneuver through society alone.
The words still haunted her ten hours after they were spoken. She had thought of nothing else since then. It was as if the words came from his soul. They had stood locked in a heated gaze until Julia could no longer bear the feelings assaulting her.
So she fled.
She had run as fast as her legs would take her to the safety of her rooms with his deep voice circulating in her head and her heart.
“I will be here as long as it takes for you to trust me again.”
The words had haunted her since. If she closed her eyes, she could still see him standing in front of her, the wind sweeping through his blond locks, his green eyes sincere, and for a moment…
Julia’s breath caught. She couldn’t help but think that if Dayton had not opened the door of Warren House that she would have turned and ran into Henry’s arms and forgiven him. A part of her wanted a life with him, but how could she?
She wouldn’t allow him the power to destroy her. Not ever again.
“Dearest?” She started at the sound of Livie’s worried voice as she rose, clutching the baby to her bosom. “Did something happen in the carriage?”
Julia wanted to tell Livie everything, confess that she had given Henry her innocence freely, that she had wanted him to have it.
It had always been his, after all. If she would’ve married him, it would’ve been his. It was on the tip of her tongue, but her mouth felt as if it were stuffed with marbles.
Barking and the pitter-patter of canine and little human feet sounded down the hall moments before the children entered in utter chaos.
“Mama! Mama!” Teddy ran into the room, his little hands clutching one of Cook’s raspberry tarts. “I brought you a treat!” He offered the now squished pastry up to his mother whose face broke out into a wide smile.
Happy and Sunny stopped in front of the duchess’ chair, eyeing the treat.
Placing Frederick in the crook of her arm, she held out her free hand for the tart as Teddy passed it over to her. Some of the raspberry was smeared on his hand and transferred over to Livie’s. “Thank you, my darling, how thoughtful of you.” She took the cloth from her shoulder and wiped the red jam from her fingers.
Once the treat was gone, Happy and Sunny both stretched out onto the carpet, their eyes full of sadness.
“It was my idea, Aunt Livie!” Emily exclaimed, coming forward to stand next to Teddy. Her long hair was tied in a ribbon, the golden ringlets flowing down her back.
