“You seem different tonight,” Hallie said after a minute.
Christian eyed her sidelong. “How so?”
She stopped walking and faced him. “I don’t know. Less burdened. Happier, I guess.”
“Tonight has been an unexpected reprieve in a lot of ways.” He tossed his cup into the metal garbage can at the curb. “I love my girls—I’d never trade being their dad. But between taking care of them and my job, I rarely have time for myself.”
She threw her own cup away, then looped both her arms through one of his. “I’m glad you’ve had time to reset.”
“Me too.” He smiled down at her.
They continued walking until they got to the empty store at the end of the street. He watched her studying theFor Salesign in the window. She’d once told him she liked to come down here and dream about her bakery. Was she thinking about that now?
“Have you applied for any more bakery positions?” he asked.
She sighed. “A couple, but I don’t think they’ll amount to much. Don’t worry, you’re not in any danger of losing your nanny quite yet.”
Did she really think that was the reason behind his question? “That’s not why I asked. What makes you think they won’t work?”
He felt her shoulder shrug against his arm. Her discouragement cut through him as if it were his own.
“They all want someone with years of experience. How does one even break into this business? Even my culinary classes, a lifetime of practice and polishing, and owning a business doesn’t seem to fit the requirements these places are asking for. At this point, I’ve evenconsidered putting my business aside and going back to waiting tables. I know I can get a job doing that. But the idea of letting go of my bakery hurts my heart. I’ve wanted this ever since I was a kid in Santiago, helping Señor Rosales.”
“Who?”
“He was the sweet man at the panadería in our neighborhood. He never had his own children, but all the expat kids flocked to his place after school. He and his wife loved them all like their own.” Fondness entered Hallie’s eyes as she talked. “I’ve wanted my own bakery ever since. I just didn’t realize it would be this hard.”
She rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. For once, Christian followed his instinct to reach for her, and she willingly stepped into his embrace. “This is important to you. It’s okay to be frustrated that it isn’t happening fast enough. Don’t give up. I know you’ll figure it out.”
She looked up at him, a misty smile gracing her lovely face. “Sorry, I don’t know what’s up with me lately. I’m not usually this emotional.”
“Don’t apologize.” He dropped his arms, finding her hands instead. “Your feelings are valid.”
“Spoken like a true dad.” She yawned, covering her mouth with a hand. “Sorry, I got up early to start Isla’s cake.”
Keeping one of her hands in his, he turned them in the direction of the car. “Let’s get you home then.”
When they arrived back at her house, Christian walked her to the door, facing her when they’d reached the porch. Nerves bubbled in his stomach. If they were going to have a conversation about where they stood, now was the time to have it.
“Earlier you said you were confused.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his fleece jacket. “Can we talk about that?”
Something akin to panic flashed in her eyes. It was subtle, and gone in an instant, but definitely there.
She lowered her gaze to his chest. “Right. We probably should.” Taking a deep breath, she steeled her shoulders. “The truth is, I like you Christian. A lot. But … I’m scared.”
“About what?”
She wrapped her arms around her middle, her focus shifting to the front door. “Don’t take this the wrong way. I adore your girls. But the idea of stepping in as their mom is really overwhelming. Dating you would be like saying I’m willing to do that. I just don’t know if I’m ready to be all in.”
Her admission sent a trickle of dread sliding into his stomach. He understood why she’d feel that way. Heck, he had his own related fears. But it still hurt. “It’s a big responsibility.”
“But I also feel like maybe I’m jumping to conclusions.” She plopped down on the top step, looking up at him expectantly until he joined her. “I don’t even know where your head’s at. My feelings could be completely one-sided.”
Christian set his hand on top of hers where they were balled in her lap. “Trust me, they’re not one-sided.”
“But you said you don’t believe in love.”
He wracked his brain. Had he mentioned that when he’d told her about Sabrina? He couldn’t remember everything that had come out. “I didn’t think I knew what love was anymore. But I’m starting to figure it out.”
