Hallie nestled her cheek onto his chest, circling her hands to rest underneath his flexed shoulder blades. So many questions bombarded her mind. Did he still have feelings for Sabrina? Could doubting love’s existence only be his hurt talking? Was he waiting for her to come back?
Even the slightest possibility of that gave Hallie more reason to run for the hills. Yet she couldn’t abandon him. Not after what he’d just told her.
She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her thoughts to calm. His heartbeat pounded against her cheek, in sync with her own racing pulse.
“Sorry.” He stepped back. “I didn’t mean to burden you with all my problems.”
He ran his hand down her arm, tangling his fingers with hers. Hallie didn’t have the heart to let go as she reclaimed her seat. Christian scooted his own chair closer until they sat with their knees touching.
“Don’t be sorry.” She placed her other hand on his thigh. “Sometimes, it helps to get things off your chest. Have you talked to anyone about this? Like a therapist, or Tyler even?”
“I’ve told Tyler some. And my mom.” His shoulders lifted then dropped heavily. “Other than that, when would I have the time?”
Shifting her knees to the side, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Maybe you should find the time. It’s not fair to carry this burden forever. The girls deserve more.Youdeserve more.”
She meant that completely. And she wanted him to be happy. Even if she couldn’t find her own happiness with him, despite realizing that part of her wanted exactly that.
His arms came around her for a moment, and he rested his face in her hair, his breath hot in her ear. They sat holding each other for a moment, until he lifted his head, and his arms fell away from her.
“Hey, kiddo. What’re you doing out of bed?”
Isla stood in the doorway leading into the living room. Sleep marks lined her face, her hair a haphazard array of curls.
“I had a bad dream,” she said groggily, looking at them with her head tilted to one shoulder. Was that suspicion in her eyes?
In an instant, Christian resumed the role of compassionate father. “Come here, sweetheart.” He stood, lifting the child into his arms.
The sight of him tenderly clutching Isla to his chest sent another surge of emotion swelling inside Hallie. Her heart threatened to burst with affection from witnessing their sweet interaction while simultaneously shattering for herself.
“I’ll let myself out,” she said, hoping to make it to her car without crying in front of them. “Goodnight, Isla.”
The child gave her a sleepy wave, her head resting on her father’s shoulder. “I had fun making cookies today.”
Hallie reached out to squeeze her hand. “Me too. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”
She glanced at Christian, immediately wishing she hadn’t. His brows furrowed in concern. Not for his daughter, that much was clear with the way he studied Hallie. How much of her emotions showed on her face?
Grabbing her purse from the floor by her chair, she let herself out of the house. The emotions spilled from her as she slipped into the driver’s seat. She covered her face with her hands, and her body convulsed in torment as the tears rained down her face.
Her ugly cries lasted the entire drive home. She wept for Christian and the trauma he’d experienced. For the girls, knowing their mother didn’t want them. And in the middle of it all, she cried a little for herself, because she had to stop her rapidly growing feelings but couldn’t turn her back on this family she’d grown to care about.
She’d never been so conflicted. What was she supposed to do?
Hallie was upset.
She’d been on the verge of tears when she’d excused herself from Christian’s kitchen. And the look on her face still haunted him as he sat in the darkness of Isla’s room, waiting for his daughter to fall asleep.
What did I do wrong this time, Dad?
An immediate thought jumped into his brain. He shouldn’t have confided in her about his problems. She’d seemed fine until he started talking. His past was a heavy burden, one that he’d held inside for years. Only Mom, Dani, and Tyler knew the extent of his trauma, and what he shared with them only had to do with the girls. He refused to talk about how Sabrina’s abandonment still affected him every single day. They’d only tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he’d done his best to fix things.
Logically, he knew they were right. But logic didn’t stop the pain.
Talking to Hallie tonight had been … refreshing in a strange sort of way. She didn’t try to heal him or convince him to let it go.
She’d just listened.
And when talking had become too difficult, when the bitterness and grief threatened to spill out, she’d held him. Only some strong sorcery could push out the negative emotions he’d dragged around for years, replacing it with peace.
