“Me too.” She sighs. “I wish we could both go far, far away from here.”
“I know.” I drop my arm across her shoulders. “You’ll be fine. You are safe with me. You know I’ll protect you with my life, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.” She rests her head against mine as we head home.
CHAPTER 24
Cian
“Please, Cian, I can’t breathe.” My ex squirms beneath me, trying to free herself from the hold I have on her neck. Her pleading only makes me squeeze harder. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve fantasized about wringing the life out of her. The way her skin would redden, her lips turn blue, and her eyes bulge.
I want to watch that spark fade as her gaze stares blankly at the ceiling.
“Cian—” She slaps me.
My eyelids fly open.
The scene in front of me shifts, the bedding becomes a starker white. The red hair splayed across the pillow is a darker shade than before.
I blink. And Ravenna materializes before me.
My hand strangles her long neck.
Her blue-grey eyes are wide with terror.
Tearing myself away from her, I scramble out of bed. I stare back at her as she sputters and coughs, trying to catch her breath, and massages her rapidly bruising throat.
What the fuck have I done? This isn’t a dream. It’s a living nightmare.
Disgust—at myself—slithers through my chest. I hurt her. That realization hits me like a boulder.
I stand next to the bed, paralyzed. I have no idea how to deal with this situation, with the ramifications of my actions.
Fists at my side, heart pounding, I insufficiently mutter, “I’m sorry.”
Unable to bring myself to meet her gaze, I stumble into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I need to clear my head. How much of that was a dream versus reality? I rake my fingers through my hair. Gripping tight at the scalp, I tug.
Fuck!I really fucked up, there’s no doubt about that.
I step into the shower’s spray as my mind races with possible courses of action. Ravenna deserves a better apology, and an explanation, at the very least. My intention wasn’t to killher. It was a dream.
How am I ever going to make her feel safe with me again? I’m no better than her brother and father. I could have killed her this morning. Accident or not, it doesn’t matter.
I punch the wall. The tiles crack and cave in. My knuckles split from the impact. The pain helps clear my mind. Then, the shower door opens and I’m reeling again.
Startled, I glance at Ravenna. Healing bruises mottle her naked body. A deep red rings her neck, and guilt smashes into me like a wrecking ball.
I did that.I hurt her.
I’ll never forgive myself and neither will she.
“Cian.” Her voice draws my gaze to her eyes. She searches mine, then takes a step closer.
“Stop!” I shuffle backward. “Don’t come near me. I’m dangerous. I almost murdered you and would have if you hadn’t woken me up. I’m so sorry—” My anguished words falter.
“I forgive you,Irlandese.” Her use of that endearment paired with those three words, leave me confused. She can’t possibly forgive what I’ve done. Doesn’t she realize how serious this is?
Ravenna steps closer, crowding me until there’s no more room to retreat. She cups my cheek. Her other hand slides up my chest to the back of my neck. On her tiptoes, she pulls me down for a gentle kiss.
