She stares at me for a moment. “You had to pretend to be your sister—who got kidnapped—then your husband ditched you when he found out, only to have your parents try to sell you on the flesh market. No offense, but I hope my marriage match goeswaybetter than yours.”
I laugh, drawing startled glances, and immediately sober. “Fair enough.”
My cousins, uncle, and aunt know most of the details of what recently happened to me, but everyone else is in the dark. Which is where they will stay. I don’t want anyone spreading gossip or half-truths. My parents’ memory should be untainted by their last few actions in this life.
The official story is that Papa was murdered at the auction house, where he was conducting business, by an opportunist with a grudge. That man was executed before everyone’s eyes on the night of the fight. Mama couldn’t live without him and took her own life. Elena and I are now orphans who’ve suffered a tragic loss.
Only Uncle Davide, my sister, and myself know the truth of my father’s death, and that’s how it’s going to stay. If any other Italian learns that Cian pulled the trigger, we’d be back at war in an instant.
That secret will die with us.
“In all seriousness, are you sure you’re okay?” Sophia studies my face, searching for clues of the truth. I haven’t confided inher, or anyone else, about all the past abuse from my father. I’m too raw to talk about it. Elena would never divulge my secrets, so I’m not concerned about her revealing anything to our cousins.
“I’m not okay, but I will be. Until then, I need to be strong for my sister.”
Sophia glances at Elena. “Yeah. Given everything you know about Cian, can you imagine him married to her instead? I mean, that’s how it was supposed to happen.”
An uncomfortable sensation slithers through my stomach. I don’t want to even think about my twin with my husband. He’smyIrlandese.
Shaking off my unease, I consider her question, but the answer’s obvious. “They would have been a terrible match.”
“I guess it was fate that you ended up taking her place.” A soft smile graces her lips.
“I suppose so.” All the what-ifs plague my mind for a moment before I push them aside. “I’m taking her home with me, but if anything changes, or it doesn’t work out, I know she can always come here. So thank you.”
“Of course. And I’ll text you when I find out which Russian I’ll be marrying next year.”
“You better.” I hug her again, then usher a zombie-like Elena out the door.
Her eyes widen with fear as we step onto the sidewalk and a black SUV pulls up to the curb. It’s the most emotion I’ve seen from her in days.
Cian exits the passenger side, then opens the back door for us. I push my reluctant twin inside, noting how her whole body shakes, and I don’t believe it’s from the chilly late winter air.
“What’s wrong?” I ask in a hushed tone. “We’re safe now.”
She shakes her head. “We’re not. Safety is an illusion. Anything can happen to us in this car, anyone can get at us.And… they’reIrish, how far do you really trust them? Don’t forget they murdered our brother.”
I swallow down my shallow but reassuring response. She’s suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress, which is completely normal, but I don’t know how to deal with it. How do I make her feel better when she’s right, safety is not only an illusion, but often fleeting. We’re never guaranteed anything in this world other than eventual death.
God, I sound morose.
But I’m not going to sugarcoat anything for my sister either. That won’t help her get better.
“I trust Cian with my life.” It’s the truth. The rest of his people, I’m not so sure about.
“I don’t.” She peeks at him. “He’s big and scary. He killed Papa and Mama too. I don’t understand how you can like him even a little.”
“I know him,” I attempt to explain. When she doesn’t answer, I ask a question that’s been on my mind for a while. “Did Mama speak to you the morning she died? Do you know why she did it?”
Elena’s silent for a few breaths. “No. Not a word. The new maid brought me breakfast that morning and told me they found my father’s body last night. I ran downstairs to find Mama. I looked all over, no one had seen her in a while and they assumed she was in her room grieving. That’s when I found her body. And that note.”
I hold her hands. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That’s awful.”
A pang of sadness hits me hard. I guess Mama really couldn’t live in this world without Papa. Even though he was her abuser too.
Elena whispers, “The man you married did this to our family.”
“I know. I wish I was sorry, but I’m not. You saw how Papa hurt me, and how Mama helped him. I’m not sorry Papa and Matteo are gone.” Finally, I voice the hard edged words. A sliver of guilt pierces my chest. “I’m sorry Mama couldn’t embrace a future free of Papa.”
