I didn’t know the Light. I would never know the Light. It was all a lie, and what did it matter what I thought or believed? I was already whole, I had a soul. Though I couldn’t have felt further from it. I felt as though I’d broken into pieces and I’d never find a way to put myself back together again.
I looked at Regina and Phillip. They seemed to want me. They seemed to care for me. They wanted me to go with them into their Order. Something inside me awoke. A deep yearning to belong to a family. A real one, not one I was indentured in servitude to. My new family could make the world make sense again. A relief swept through me, turning my bones into softened butter at the prospect of having someone tell me what was right once more, so I could know what must be done.
Emma stood up and crossed the distance between us so she could lay her hands on my shoulders. I further melted into her comfort, feeling like things were going to be okay again.
“So your Order is going to take him in, just like that?” Emma asked, snapping her fingers, skepticism heavy in her voice.
Something hardened in Regina’s eyes as if Emma had challenged her. “Well obviously, he must prove himself to be worthy to our Order. We can say he’s on our side all we want, but some members may believe him to be a spy.”
“How does he prove himself?” Emma asked for me.
Regina continued to stare at Emma as if seeing her for the first time. Phillip spoke to me, pausing to carefully pick his words. “He must kill his Masters.”
Emma gasped. “All of them?” Emma had been interviewed by the council of Masters, as I had. Though she couldn’t know what they were truly made of, she must have sensed their power. They were not powerful like the Chevalier, but together they cast strong magic. It was only used in great times of need.
Phillip shook his head. “Only his siring Master.”
Emma looked down at me for an answer.
I cleared my throat, realizing I hadn’t spoken in a while. “We are each assigned a sire, who is primarily in charge of our orders, or corrections.”
She lifted an eyebrow and the corners of her sweet, pink lips pulled down at the corners. “You mean whippings.”
She didn’t miss much. Though whippings were not the only means of correction. If I were to go back, there was an entire room dedicated to extracting information from spies or to correct the most wayward member of the Order. It was rarely used, but I knew they would use every single device in that room on me if we went back now.
“You require me to kill Master Ylang?” I clarified, unsure of how I felt about their demand.
Regina’s teeth ground audibly. “No doubt, it is your Master Ylang who is responsible for ordering your kidnapping. For he was the one we robbed of the Orb of Thesis. That he assumed the place of your keeper sickens me to the core. It should you too. He has stolen your life and for that, death would be a blessing compared to what he deserves.”
I remembered the sickening lurch in my stomach when my blade came close to ending Emma.
“I don’t want to kill anyone.” To my own ears, I sounded like a lost child. I stood up, quicker than I intended, as if I could shake off the weakness I felt. Emma’s hand slid away from my shoulders and I regretted the loss, but I couldn’t think straight sitting down.
“Son,” Phillip countered, “It is the only way for you to join the true Order. Don’t you want to come home with us? Don’t you want to belong with us?”
That yearning that already pulled at my guts, yanked at me ten-fold.Yes, yes,my inner self cried.You can tell me what to do and you will be so very pleased with me.
Regina’s eyes pled with me. They seemed full of hope for our future. “You can come home, son. It is such a small thing that is required.” Her words slithered around me like a snake’s. But she was my mother. Why should I distrust her?
“He’s not a killer,” Emma said flatly.
Regina stood up in a challenging posture. Though she was considerably shorter than Emma, she was lithe and deadly. “How do you know what he is or isn’t? From my understanding, you have barely known him longer than we have.” Her chin was set regally, but her eyes leaked danger.
“You’re right,” Emma said, taking a step back from the compact predator that was my mother. “But I’m the only one who doesn’t want to use him to destroy my enemies or do my evil bidding.” Her eyes fastened on me, and everyone else followed suit.
Would they be using me? Did I care as long as I knew what to do? What did I want?
I wanted to belong again, to know what was right, but something cautioned me to not to speak that out loud, so I remained silent.
Emma turned to Phillip. “I’m betting he gets that strong silent vibe from scary mama bear over here,” she jerked her head toward Regina. The barest ghost of a smile appeared on Phillip’s face before Regina’s sharp glare chased it away.
“Fine,” Emma said, sitting down on the small bench and leaning in to the table. “While blue eyes over there works out what he wants, I have some questions. If there are five interpretations, how do you know yours is the right one? Has stuff from your interpretation been the only stuff that comes true, or have events been right from the others? Do you have like a percentage of accuracy?”
Regina’s lips tightened. “Of course, we are the truest of any of the interpretations.”
Emma’s eyes narrowed, to better study my mother’s face. She was in full-on interrogation mode. “You didn’t answer. Have events ever been right according to the other Orders and not to yours?”
“Don’t you worry about that, my dear,” Phillip said, casually propping his hands on his hips. “We know what must be done.”
