Could she read my mind? No, she was just intuitive.
“It can’t always be all about duty,” she said. “Stop beating yourself up.”
“Emma, please.” My hands grasped at my head trying to control the barrage of conflicting thoughts and feelings. They crowded in around each other, shouting me down with demands and accusations.
“I have to – I have to do a perimeter check.” Before she could say a word, I’d grabbed my coat and boots and was out the door, locking it behind me.
The bite of cold air calmed my bare flesh, lowering my body temperature. I clutched the door frame, resting my forehead against the chilled wood, but it couldn’t erase what I knew was on the other side. My toes shifted against the sharp gravel. Every temptation the universe could conjure up was rolled into one beautiful girl who I could never have but could never forget the taste of now.
I pushed off the door, threw my coat on over my bare back, pulled on my boots, then stalked away to secure the perimeter and remind myself of my duties.
When I returned an hour later, Travis was passed out on top of the sheets, snoring like an elephant. Emma had succumbed to sleep, curled in a tight ball as if she needed to protect herself from the world even in slumber.
She certainly needs protection against you.
I swallowed hard and pushed the guilt down. Grabbing the mustard-colored chair by Emma’s bed, I noiselessly moved it across the room so I could easily watch both while keeping close to the door, should trouble come knocking.
After taking off my boots, I planted my bare feet on the floor, squeezing the rough carpet under my toes to bring myself fully into the present. I held the broadsword between my legs, holding it at its hilt and straightened my back. Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply, deliberately.
I didn’t dare sleep but I could use the time to rejuvenate myself with meditation.
Here. Here.
I silently acknowledged being here, in the present. I objectively observed my physical being. My calf still throbbed from where the piece of glass speared it yesterday. It was raw but clean since I’d showered. Tension squeezed between my shoulders and down my back. Simply observing the sensations caused my shoulders to drop several inches and the knots to unfurl a fraction.
Thoughts interrupted each other with hows and whats and whens. How do I protect Emma and Travis? What will my Masters do with them? When will my magic return so that I could transport us to the Temple?
A nasty thought slithered in like black tar, encircling the rest of them.What if my magic doesn’t return?
“No,” I whispered, stopping the vile thought in its tracks. “You are Chevalier. You are granted magic so that you may defend the Light. It will return to you as easy as breath.” After that, I stepped out of the stream of my own thoughts, then watched them flow by like a river.
Emma’s face, Emma’s touch, Emma’s taste whizzed by in the stream, each memory and thought beckoning me back into the rush, to swim in them. In tandem, the stream carried Emma’s screams, fear, and visions of her death at the hands of the soul eater, the Crib, or other dark forces. Each horror a result of my letting her down by giving in to my desire. I sat down by the river and watched it flow by, never reaching a finger out to touch the thoughts, so they continued rushing by.
When I blinked my eyes open, resurfacing from my meditative state, the garish green numbers on the bedside clock flashed 4:06 a.m. Though I had not fallen asleep or fallen out of tune with every twitch and shift Travis and Emma made in their sleep, I arose refreshed. It was time for another walk about the perimeter, and soundlessly I slipped outside.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The clouds had rolled in, a blanket of darkness blocking all light from the waxing moon. The only sounds were of the swirling wind on the plains.
The gravel of the motel parking lot crunched under my feet until I adjusted my stride to
silence my steps. All the doors were shut and curtains drawn in the U-shaped block of accommodations. The only light emanated from the small office where the surly-faced owner watched a small television set with dull eyes awaiting any unlikely night-time tenants. I widened the loop around the motel into the tall brown grass. The snow had melted some during the day and frozen over again into crispy ice patches that crunched under my steps. The terrain was flat, allowing for greater field of vision. Even so, clouds darkened the land. My false parents could be hiding nearby, so I would cover every inch until I knew we were safe.
The quiet soothed me. The cold earth smelled crisp and wild. The raging beast that pounded from the inside of my ribcage, begging for Emma, had reduced its fervor to dull thuds in my chest. I could fight this. I had returned to my center. Though I had never known such temptation before, I realized the gods were testing me. If I failed, Emma would surely be punished. I was already damned and knew I must keep her from me at all costs. The sooner I got her and Travis to my Masters, the better.
Then maybe my Masters could better explain how a soul eater could have become flesh? How the Crib could have come to our plane? Why now?
The Propheros.
Master Ylang’s voice sprung to mind.As Chevalier, you must never assume. Any knowledge of consequence must be relayed to your Masters so that we may interpret and guide.
Then I realized I had been mistaken in trying to interpret the circumstances, when it did not change my duties. I fought the darkness in whatever form it presented itself.Thatis what Chevalier did. I was not to question the whys, I was only to act as a tool for the Light.
Surprise leapt upon my heart as a flash of light warmed the palms of my hands. Instantly, I fell to my knees in observance of the miracle. My powers had returned. I could take us home. I closed my eyes, reveling in my return to grace. There was a sense of coming home as my powers wrapped themselves around my being once more.
With a lighter heart now buoyed with hope, I finished my reconnaissance. Finding no sign of the agents from Temple Veritas, I began my descent from the slight rise in the land back toward the motel.
The sky had lightened considerably, hailing the coming of dawn. As I walked to the parking lot, I spotted a family sluggishly lugging their bags to a silver mini-van. A sleepy girl about four years old rocked on her feet, eyelids drooping, as she clutched a stuffed bunny with only one button eye and a frayed ear. One of her ash-blonde pigtails was crooked. Her brother looked to be only a couple years older, with a bright green coat and limp blond hair falling into his eyes. His thumbs flew across a handheld device with a lit screen, while he leaned against the van. Their mother and father went about packing the vehicle. While I could not hear the words, their strained tones told me they were quarreling.
