I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell her that was impossible, but I remembered every shudder that rippled through her body. Every time she licked her lips with hungry desire. Every time her eyes had glazed over with lust because they all had mirrored my own intense desire to claim her.
My rational mind still attempted to chastise my indulgence in her fantasy.
“Emma,” I started, but she put her hand on my bare chest and my breath came to an abrupt halt.
“You can’t pretend you don’t feel it, because I’m inside you now. Somehow,” she said in a disbelieving tone coupled with a light laugh. She looked at her hand. The electric blue polish was mostly chipped off her nails now.
It didn’t detract from her appeal in the least. There was something so spontaneous about the fervor with which she lived that she made perfection look like a two-dimensional bore. She was straight-forward, unafraid, hot-blooded, so… soalive,and about to make a mess of my whole existence.
“I know what this is doing to you,” she said, her whisper breaking as if she were being tormented.
I was trapped between the torment and the most intense pleasure. Only the gods could have designed it.
“Then why are you doing it?” I asked, pain tightening my words.
“Because…” her words drifted off, eyes searching mine as if she could find the answer there. Her gaze seemed to rip the flesh and bone from me until there was nothing hidden. This was too much. I shouldn’t be seen, especially not like this.
She went on, “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, Calan.”
With those words, my name sliding off her tongue so deliciously, my last vestige of control snapped like a brittle twig. I grabbed her by the back of her neck and my mouth crashed down on hers with all the crazed hunger I’d felt for seven days, ten hours and some odd minutes.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Emma pushed the pizza box aside and lunged forward to sit on my lap, her legs wrapping around my waist. The contact of her sex against my mine, even through our clothing, evoked a hiss of shock from me. Heat radiated from her pelvis into my straining manhood which begged to be freed.
She threw her head back, exposing the expanse of her neck to me. Elegant. It was the only word to describe that stretch of skin.
“Oh god, Calan,” her words were drawn out in intense pleasure. “I can feel what this does to you. I feel how badly you want me. It’s turning me inside out.”
I claimed her mouth again, forcing my tongue past her teeth, fully tasting her.
My hands burrowed up into her hair, snapping her tie away so the wet locks fell into my grasp. I tugged it lightly at the base of her skull. She gasped, then her sharp breath dissolved into a moan that struck me so hard, I worried I would embarrass myself.
Just because I’d never been with a woman didn’t mean I wasn’t aware of what couples did behind closed doors. My Masters warned against the evils of giving into lust, instructing I do everything in my power to please the gods with chastity.
My hands moved down to Emma’s hips where I rocked them against my own and a guttural growl ripped its way out of my throat. It was so feral, I barely recognized myself. The warmth covering my lap soon moistened, and my eyes rolled back into my head with the effort it took to stop myself from coming right then.
Too much was out of my control. A part of me panicked at the thought. Grabbing her hips, I threw Emma off me and back onto the bed. Before she could finish her mewl of disappointment I covered her body with mine, kissing, sucking, licking, and nibbling at the flesh of her neck as she writhed against me, meeting my pace. The taste of her skin was intoxicating. Despite the generic hotel soap she’d used, I still tasted the vanilla of her skin under it.
It reminded me of the vanilla beans I’d once had to scrape the innards out of for Master Violetta’s sacred tea. The beans smelled strong, sharp, and sweet, and begged to be tasted but I’d refrained then. Now, it felt like I was finally indulging in a sweetness long denied me, and it made me dizzy with desire.
My hips ground rhythmically down on hers. Emma bit my neck to suppress her sensual sounds. Slowly, my hand slipped under her shirt and traveled up each rib, carefully approaching the naked flesh of her sensitive breast.
The water turned off in the bathroom with a screech. I stopped cold, my fingers brushing the rising swell of her breast. Emma kept rubbing her body up against me, but I dismounted her in an instant.
Propping herself up on her elbows, Emma looked up at me in confusion. Still panting, her hair tousled, her swollen lips beckoned me back. For the second time, I saw her nipples tight, straining against her shirt.
My shoulders rose and fell in exaggerated movements as I tried to gain control over my breath and my body. I had to shut my eyes against the sight of her to do so.
“Calan?” she started, but I held up a hand to stop her.
As soon as the pleasure started, it froze and shattered inside me. What had I become? I was succumbing to greed, lust, and coveting Emma for myself.
I owned nothing. Not even myself. I was turning away from the Light. How could I protect the Propheros, or Emma for that matter, if I couldn’t control my basic urges? No wonder I couldn’t wield my own magic. I was out of control.
Opening my eyes, I saw the loss in Emma’s eyes and a new wave of guilt sliced through the first. She deserved better than me. I wasn’t whole. After this, I wondered if the gods would ever return my soul after causing pain to such an angel.
“Calan, stop it.” Emma said clearly, after licking her lips. She sat up. “I know what you’re thinking and stop it right now.”
