I frowned. Surely, Daze wouldn’t care, considering he was also fucking a headliner. We kissed, but we weren’t exclusive. We weren’t anything at all.
The way it needs to be, I reminded myself.
Casual sex was fine, but it wasn’t worth getting serious with anyone. Not when I was in hiding and still unsure if I was staying.
I groaned and dug through my clothes, dressing quickly in leggings and a tank top in case any performers showed up. They didn’t. With the weight of my thoughts crushing down on me, I shoved my belongings back into the cabinet and sat on the edge of my bunk, debating what to do next.
I should have gone back to the event center. Syxx would probably be worried; as soon as we got backstage, I ran off without an explanation.
Would Bobbitt know I was missing?
Would anyone else?
I chewed the inside of my cheek. I doubted Revel would pass along the word that I was fine—he’d probably pretend like he hadn’t seen me at all. But I was so exhausted, bone tired from performing and everything that had transpired since.
I didn’t want to go back.
Then there was the issue of Zero… My blood heated when I thought about how he traded me with another assistant and forced me into Revel’s cage. I hated him more than ever, butthere was nothing I could do. He was Hallow’s right-hand man, the second-in-command.
And I was nobody.
My eyes tracked to Zero’s bunk, the way they did anytime I wasn’t careful. His privacy curtain was halfway open, and I could clearly see the carousel above his bed carved with his knives.
“Crazy fuck,” I murmured.
The longer I glared at his space, the more his rich, caramel-popcorn scent seemed to cut through Revel’s candied apples to permeate the air. The mix together was heavenly, but even as I registered it, the apple smell faded more, giving way to the psychotic clown’s scent.
My scent match.
It didn’t seem to matter if he was present or not, the traces of him lingering on the clown bus were enough to drive me insane. I inhaled deeply, slowly, swallowing down the faint aroma. Little by little, it seemed to fill me, flowing through my veins and calming my anxiety. Zero’s scent was a balm to my nervous system, soothing me and my omega instincts like a sedative.
It was tragic that the alpha himself didn’t have the same effect.
I was on my feet before I could stop myself, inching my way closer to his bed. The caramel popcorn grew stronger with every step, making my head swim, and I stopped at the edge of the bunk. The scent drenched his sheets and was soaked into his pillow.
Nervously, I looked toward the front of the bus. If anyone came in while I was creepily sniffing the alpha’s bed linens, I’d die before they could ask me what the hell I was doing.
What a way to go…
Confident that no one was going to walk in, I grabbed his comforter and brought it to my nose, inhaling deeply and welcoming the warm, sweet scent. It was delicious, better thananything I’d ever smelled before, and I hated every second of it. Still, I wasn’t going to squander this opportunity.
I took a breath, then another, filling my lungs with more of Zero.
I wanted to steal his blanket, to drag it into my bed to curl up with it. I wanted to settle into the comfort it brought me and to forget everything else. But he’d definitely notice if his blanket went missing, or if I swapped it with my own, even though they were identical.
I couldn’t steal his sheet or his pillowcase either. They were way too obvious.
He’d know…
No. He could never find out.
A whine clawed up my throat.
Another deep breath of his scent calmed me, and I found myself halfway wishing he was here in the flesh. Sure, I didn’t want to see his stupid face, and I had some choice words for him after tonight, but the way his scent would seep into my blood and satiate me… My whine finally broke free, shattering the silence of the bus.
I shook my head and looked around, my eyes landing on the cabinet next to Zero’s bunk. A desperate, feral urgency overcame me, and I abandoned the blanket where I found it. I had no idea how long it would be until troupe members made their way back, but I probably had a couple of minutes. Plenty of time to rummage through his things.
Pulling open the door, I was met by organized perfection. Stacks of pants and shirts lined the right side, with underwear and socks in the middle. On the left was a small, collapsible hamper for dirty clothes that was about halfway full, and his toiletries and other essentials were on the shelf above. The psycho was insanely organized, something I could never be.
