“In.” He stepped aside and gestured to the shower.
I wanted to argue, to tell him that he should go first, so I could soak and take my time, but the stern look on his face cut off my rebuttal. With a sigh, I shoved off the wall and crossed to the shower. As I stepped into the spray of water, the heat seeped into my muscles and drew out the aches, nearly making me moan with relief. I turned around to close the door behind me, but Revel was already squeezing into the single stall with me.
“What the?—”
He snapped the door closed behind him, trapping us inside.
“It’s kind of cramped with both of us, don’t you think?” I asked, settling into the tiny bit of space he wasn’t occupying.
He chuckled once and shoved a washcloth at me.
“You weren’t complaining about personal space five minutes ago,” he replied. “Besides, I’ll be gone before you know it.”
I opened my mouth and snapped it closed again as images from our hate romp came rushing back. A throb kickstarted between my thighs, and I quickly turned away from him to hide my blush. No way I would let this alpha know how much he affected me. Sure, he pinned me up against the wall and had me crying out as I came on his cock, but it was only one time.
It wouldn’t happen again.
“Just hurry up and get out,” I huffed as I stepped through the spray of water and hovered against the opposite wall.
I waited impatiently as he used the communal body wash dispenser on the tile wall and tried not to stare as he scrubbed himself. Tiny bubbles momentarily lingered on his limbs before slipping down the drain, the water making his skin glisten.
“Do you need help?” he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up to find him staring at the washcloth in my hand.
“No.” My answer was immediate. Heat prickled across my cheeks unrelated to the hot steam consuming us. “No, I can take it from here. Uh… thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” His eyes lingered on me for a second, like he wanted to say something else but wasn’t sure what or how. Awkwardness made my skin crawl, and I forced my eyes away from his.
“I won’t.”
“Right,” Revel muttered. He shifted in my peripheral, then the shower door clicked closed. I looked up and saw him moving on the other side of the foggy glass, his form distorted.
I didn’t expect him to stay—it would have been weird if he did—but I couldn’t deny the disappointment sinking in my stomach. Would it really have been so bad to let him help me wash if it meant buying me a few more minutes with him?
Yes, yes it would.
A second later, the bathroom door opened and closed, and Revel disappeared.
I exhaled deeply, slumping against the tile wall, still clutching my cloth. Now that I was alone, reality hit me like a sack of bricks, and my head spun.
How the hell did I get here?
It happened so fast. One minute, his hand was around my throat, and the next he had me pinned with my legs wrapped around him. My stomach fluttered at the memory, and a shiver danced up my spine. I didn’t want to remember it, didn’t want to dwell on how good his hands felt against my skin, or how his lips made mine ache for more.
But, while it was only a one time thing, I also didn’t want to forget.
I stepped into the hot spray of water again, hoping it would numb my skin and emotions. I had no idea what I was doing, or what my next move was, but I no longer wanted to flee the circus. At least, not tonight. Now that my panic attack had passed, and I could finally think clearer, I began to hope that maybe I didn’t ruin my chances with the Knotty Sideshow after all.
I didn’t mess up Revel’s routine—not really. Given how much notice I had, I thought I did a decent job.
Maybe Hallow will forgive me.
I scrubbed myself in silence, standing beneath the showerhead until the hot water began to cool. Then, I climbed out and wrapped myself in the fluffy crimson towel Revel had hung on the wall. I didn’t think to bring clothes with me to change into, so I slipped out of the bathroom in nothing but the towel and stared down the empty aisle.
Revel was nowhere in sight, but he’d picked up my discarded clothes and tossed them on my bed. Nothing else was out ofplace or disturbed, and aside from the faint smell of candied apples still lingering in the air, there was no evidence of what took place minutes before.
I breathed a small sigh of relief.
If I was lucky, the hate fuck would stay between us, and no one in the troupe would find out about it. Zero wouldn’t let me live it down and Daze…
