“Again, I’m sorry about the last few years. I feel terrible about it.”
“You don’t even know me anymore, Lindsay. You have this warped idea in your head of who I was and that, in spite of the time that’s passed, I haven’t changed at all.
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch your only remaining parent slowly die in front of you? Do you know what it’s like to watch them age fifty years in the span of a few months because of the cancer that’s ravaging their body? And the chemo that’s trying to fight it off? Do you––” My voice breaks, and I have to swallow a sob. “The woman who brought me into this world, who changed my diapers. I had to look into her eyes as I changed hers, knowing that she was fully aware of what was happening, and filled with shame that she no longer had the ability to do it herself. I felt honored to do it. To care for her during her most vulnerable time.”
She sniffles, but I don’t look at her. I can’t. The pain is too much.
“She was all I had left in the world, and I remained by her side until the very last breath left her body. Do you know why?”
She doesn’t answer me.
“Because that’s what love is. Devotion. Family. That’s what you fucking do for the people you care about. And I don’t care that Kyle turned out to be an asshole and left me for someone else. I don’t regret what I sacrificed for him. When I was by his side, guiding him through that difficult time in his life, it felt right. Being his rock was what he needed me to be. I would’ve done the same for you.”
Lindsay nods, taking a tentative step in my direction. “I know. You love without caution, and it’s never about whether they deserve it. The people you choose to keep close are the ones who are lucky enough to bask in your light.” She uses the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “Winston is actually the one who made me see how brave that is. Here Iwas, worried you couldn’t protect yourself without my help, and you’re braver in love than I’ll ever be.”
The mention of his name makes my heart squeeze. “Did you know that Winston has lived longer than us, longer than most, and no one has ever truly loved him?”
Shock fills her gaze. “What?”
I nod. “He had a terrible childhood. It’s not my story to tell, but he’s been through some dark shit, Linds. A lot of it. To the point where even Arya Stark would be shocked.”
Lindsay chuckles quietly. “Really, Nat? Still withGame of Thrones?No one cares about that show anymore.”
“But it was the most popular show in the world when it was on.”
“Yeah, but that was years ago, hun. You need new buzzy dramas to reference. Have you seenSeverance?”
I roll my eyes. “I can’t afford all the streaming channels.”
“I’ll give you my login,” she offers.
“This isn’t the point!” I shout, frustrated by the derailed conversation. “Tragedy after tragedy hardened Winston. It made him think he was made wrong, and chronically undeserving of love. But when we were together,” I explain, “being on the receiving end of my affection, even for little things, it’s like he was starved of it, and once he knew how it felt, he was so much lighter.”
“About Winston,” she says, her lips twitching. “I know I fucked up royally, and I don’t expect your forgiveness. But if you give me a chance, I’ll put all my effort into making things right between us. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Nat. These last few years without you have been miserable. I don’t want to lose you again.”
It’s a nice offer, and I believe her when she says she’s sorry, that she’ll work hard to change, but the betrayal is still too fresh. I shake my head. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”
“I understand,” she says with a solemn nod. “It’s just…I need you to come with me right now.”
“What?”
“There’s something you need to see, and if you still don’t forgive me after you see it, that’s okay. I’m not giving up on this friendship.”
“What do I need to see?” I look around, confused, and honestly, a little wary.
“It’s not here,” she says, a smile playing on her lips. “You have to follow me.”
My curiosity is begging me to follow her, but I can’t just disappear. “Linds, I’m working tonight. Can we do this tomorrow?”
Vyla’s booming voice shouts from the doorway. “Dom says you’ve got the rest of the night off. Happy Halloween, Natty Baby!”
“Wait, seriously?”
Rizlan pops his head out. “Yep. Have fun, Normie. See you tomorrow.”
My stomach flutters as I follow Lindsay toward the forest. Not just in any direction, either. She’s leading me toward the tree line that separates the property between the bar and Caraway Manor.
Winston.
