“Oh, I’ve missed you so much,” she said, squeezing him tighter before pulling back and resting her hands on his shoulders.She was tall, nearly looking Kieran in the eye.“Look at you, all grown up.”
Kieran couldn’t help but laugh.“I’m glad it looks that way, at least.”
Adelaide’s smile turned a bit more winsome.She gently patted Kieran’s arm and said, “Why don’t we sit down for a moment?We should chat.”
Kieran hesitated for a moment, his mind reminding him that this was a dream.Although he did still feel that coldness on hisskin and the sweat on the back of his neck.If it was truly a dream, wouldn’t he feel fine?
“Right,” he said, cutting through his own thoughts.“Let’s sit.”
Kieran followed Adelaide to a blanket that had been spread out on the sand.They sat side by side, staring out at the cerulean waves as they lapped at the shore, sea-foam pushing back and forth with the ebb and flow of the tide.In another life, Kieran would have liked to stay here, just watching the water sparkle in the sun, not having to worry about anything.As he considered that, though, a thought struck him.
“Adelaide,” Kieran asked, half joking, “am I dead?”
Kieran had been hoping she’d laugh that off as absurd, but instead, her lips pressed into a thin line.Immediately, that heavy, sick feeling in his stomach seemed stronger.He felt the color drain from his face as she rubbed her hands on her legs, exhaling.
“Not dead,” she finally said.“But…dying.”
Kieran jolted back.“What?”
“Here.”Adelaide held out a hand to him.“I can show you, if you like.”
Kieran’s eyebrows rose.My own untimely demise?This should be interesting.
Gently, he took her hand.
Almost instantly, all the things he’d been feeling—the sweat, the cold feeling on his skin, the churning of his stomach—increased tenfold.The beach vanished, and the world around him turned into an impressionist blur.He could feel hands on him, holding him up.When he blinked, he saw Sebastian looking down at him as the world rushed past.
“Stay with me,” Sebastian said, his fingers brushing back blond curls that had stuck to Kieran’s sweat-soaked forehead.“I’ve got you, okay?I’m not going to let you go.Just focus…”
Kieran couldn’t.The strain on his body was simply too much.His muscles had all gone rigid, shaking as the poison coursed through them.He felt cold—so, so cold.When he tried to open his mouth, the only thing that came out was foamy spittle.
Instantly, the scene vanished, and Kieran was back on the beach with Adelaide.
He jumped to his feet, gasping for breath.Adelaide’s face pinched into a frown, her eyebrows bent upward in sympathy.
“No—no, you have to send me back!”Kieran cried.“Adelaide, please, I can’t die!Not after all this!Not when finally,finally,I feel like I’m not completely useless.A-and now that…”
He trailed off, but the words in his head were clear enough.Now that I have Sebastian.
Because as much as he’d tried not to admit it, he had fallen for him.From the first moment he’d laid eyes on him, something had been different.Every conversation they had felt natural, no need to push things along with the kind of stilted conversation starters he’d gotten so used to with Ash.Being with him felt exciting but comfortable; every day he got to wake up and see Sebastian’s face was another he looked forward to.When they were together, Kieran felt that he could be someone special—not because he was with Sebastian but because Sebastian could see it more than he could.
And he achingly,desperatelydidn’t want to lose that.
“Please,” he repeated.Adelaide bit her lip as he added, “For thefirst time in my life, I don’t hate being Kieran Pelumbra.Iwantto keep living.I want to fix my mistake with Ash, and I want to tell Sebastian how I really feel.I want to move out of that shitty apartment in Gellingham and make something of myself.Just please, please, give me a chance.I can’t lose this life when it’s finally the one I want.”
Adelaide came to stand beside him.She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug.She exhaled, patting his back.
“It’s not going to be easy,” she told him.“You’re not in great shape.”
“I don’t care,” Kieran insisted.“Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.I’m not afraid—not anymore.”
Adelaide’s gaze softened.She nodded, seeming to mull over his words.
Then she said, “I’m proud of you, Kieran.Truly.Remember that.”
Darkness consumed him once again.
When the darkness finally faded, Kieran felt as if he’d only been gone for seconds.Upon opening his eyes, though, he saw that that wasn’t the case.
