“And asked me to fulfill my promise,” Kieran finished.
“I don’t remember.” I took several more steps back, my gaze moving between them. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“It wasn’t my—”
“Not you,” I stopped Kieran. “Cas, why didn’t you talk to me?”
Eather flashed in Casteel’s eyes. “Why did you think I couldn’t handle it? How could you—?” His voice thickened and filled with pain. “How could you ask him to do that?”
My heart cracked at the sound of his voice. “You weren’t there. You were being held captive.”
“It’s more than that. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” he said. “You wouldn’t be asking me to stay back because you don’t think I can handle myself.”
“That has nothing to do with it. You know you wouldn’t just stand by as Kolis says some of the most disgusting things you can im—”
“What things?” His eyes narrowed on me. “What did he say to you through that fucking Revenant?”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“See! Right there. You’re showing exactly how much you trust me.”
“It has nothing to do with you! I don’t want to think about what he said, let alone repeat it.”
Casteel went quiet.
Drawing in a too-short breath, I stepped toward him. “What I asked Kieran to do had nothing to do with me not trusting or believing in you. It had everything to do with me not wanting to put you in a situation I knew would destroy you.”
“And you thought itwouldn’tdestroy Kieran?” he fired back.
I looked at Kieran. He had sat on the edge of one of the armchairs between the balcony doors and the table. “No,” I whispered. “I made a choice. And I…chose you.”
“Sounds like you chose the exact opposite.”
“Fucking gods,” Kieran muttered, staring at his hands. “You’re being a fucking idiot right now.”
Casteel barked out a harsh laugh.
“It’s not funny.” Kieran looked up. “I told you that you needed to talk to her. If I’d known it would turn out this way, I would’ve kept my mouth shut.”
“Something you’re clearly good at,” Casteel retorted.
Kieran rolled his eyes.
My heart cracked as I stared at them. I’d never heard them speak to each other like this. And I’d done that—to them. To us.
“Cas.” I reached for him, my hands trembling. “I’m—”
“Don’t.” Casteel moved back, his jaw clenched.
My heart didn’t just crack then. It nearly broke as I lowered my hands. I felt the burn of tears crawling up my throat and folded my arms across my waist.
Casteel blinked several times and looked away. “I thought you knew,” he said, his voice rough. Raw. “That I would do everything to keep you safe, even from yourself.”
“Idoknow that,” I swore. “But if I lost control, you wouldn’t have had time to stop me. You have to remember this was before the Joining. Before what we’ve become.”
“And now?” His gaze returned to me. “What’s your excuse for now? For thinking I can’t handle myself with Kolis or the Fates?”
“Because I know you would do anything to keep me safe. You would not be able to—”
