“And do you want to stress me out?” she tacked on.
“How am I stressing you out?”
“Because I know something is stressingyouout. Except for the whole Ascended business, you were weirdly quiet and, I don’t know,stillthroughout dinner. And you’re never still.”
I frowned.
“I have a feeling that whatever made you quiet has to do with what wasn’t said. How do I know? Because after Reaver said he always knew, you went quiet and still again.”
Inhaling a deep, slow breath, I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I…” A hoarse laugh parted my lips. “It’s going to sound impossible.”
“Good thing I believe in the impossible,” she replied. “I mean, look at me. How can I not?”
I did look at her. I knew I should take this time to tell her what I’d done to her—whyshe believed in the impossible. But when I spoke, it wasn’t about that. “Do you know the legend of Sotoria?”
CHAPTER 44
POPPY
What was I doing?
No answer came to me as I stood with my eyes closed, the unseasonably cool breeze tugging at some strands of hair that had escaped my braid.
I’d asked myself that a hundred times since Casteel left to see if any word had come from his father or the others at Pensdurth and to speak with his brother more regarding our new plans surrounding the Ascended. He’d asked if I wanted to go with him.
I politely declined and camehere.
Though I didn’t knowwhy. As Queen, I should be checking with him. Guilt churned.
Casteel had hesitated when I said no, and I knew he wanted to ask if I was okay. As Tawny would say, I’d been quiet and still this morning.
Butshetook over that role last night when I told her about Sotoria. She was shocked and disturbed, even though she tried not to show it. Who wouldn’t be?
I hadn’t thought to ask Casteel about Malik, and if he had convinced him not to go to Pensdurth, and as a wife—his partner—I should have. That added to the roiling my stomach was doing. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I did. The very last thing I wanted was for Malik to run off and get himself killed. AndI was worried he had a reason to: That Kolis had summoned the Revenants, and Millicent had gone, unable to resist his influence. My chest squeezed so tight it felt like no air could get in.
I didn’t know why I hadn’t shared any of that with Casteel as he’d rooted through the bowl of sugary fruit, picking out the unbruised strawberries and putting them on my plate. It had been on my mind but so had everything else.
Maybe theeverything elsewas why I was here.
Opening my eyes to the overcast skies, I breathed out, heavily and slowly, and lowered my head.
I couldn’t believe I’d come here.
The meadow was really just an outcropping of the Elysium Peaks, roughly positioned at a height just above the spires of the Shadow and Sun Temples and in the shadow of the mountains’ continuous rise.
Pink and violet wildflowers dotted the grass all the way to where clusters of tall elms crowded the base of the Peaks. The blanket of pretty, delicate-looking flowers ended only a handful of feet from the edge Sotoria had fallen from.
Where had the poppies gone?
Or had they never grown here, and what I’d seen in stasis had been a figment of my imagination?
Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I turned slowly. It was so quiet up here. The sounds were the wind and the birds singing to one another.
I pressed my lips together, turned to the Cliff’s edge, and began walking. The meadow was surprisingly peaceful. It didn’t feel like it should be, but it was. I tried to imagine Sotoria making her way up here to pick flowers. It must have taken the better part of a day to do so.
I soon heard water splashing off the stone, and then the grass and wildflowers gave way to packed, rocky soil. My steps slowedand then stopped. Taking a deep breath, I looked down. Pale-gray rocks jutted out, forming small, narrow ledges between the sheer drops. Halfway down and beneath one of those ledges, white-tipped water spilled down the rocks, misting the air as it fell before vanishing into a lake as dark as a night sky. My gaze shifted to the banks of the lake, where the elms grew so thickly and abundantly, there wasn’t a single hint of the ground below. I followed the swath of trees to where Wayfair’s towers were visible.
I didn’t feel anything.
