She coughed, rubbing her throat. “Yeah? Did you also plan to tell me that Lucille is your damned cordistella?”
I almost forgot to flap my wings. Hearing it said out loud sounded entirely different than hearing it in my head.
“Alexei,” I accused again. We would have words. First, he disobeyed my orders with Lucille’s training. Then, he revealed a truth that was never his to voice. The first, I understood, even if it filled me with dread. Lucille didn’t know what damage she was inflicting on her parents. I wanted to tell her. I thought about it daily, but doing so would jeopardize my life. And still, I considered giving it up for her every damn day. But to tell MJ before I had the chance?
“Ronen!” MJ snapped me out of my thoughts. “I love to blame Alexei as much as you do, but do you really think Alexei told me? I’ve had a cordistella. He hasn’t. I know what the signs are, dumbass.” She shook her head and stared long and hard. All the fiery fight eased out of her eyes, and her face relaxed into something tender. “I promise not to kick you off the cliff again if you come here and talk.” MJ plopped herself down.
I hesitated. I didn’t need to talk about anything.
“How much do you actually know about the cordistella bond, Ronen? Do you understand what happened yesterday?”
My silence was answer enough.
“I’ll do the talking until you’re ready, okay?” She gave me a small smile and nodded to the spot next to her.
This side of MJ always got to me. Her rare moments of tenderness were reminiscent of a time when she had a soft heart. The moment her cordistella died, so did the majority of that softness.
“I know the basics,” I admitted, snapping my wings in and settling next to her.
“Then I’ll enlighten you on the finer details.”
The way she unintentionally paused between her sentence, her voice softening at the end, made me reach out and squeeze her hand. I could only imagine this conversation hurt.
“The first thing you need to understand about the bond is that they weren’t originally intended for love. They were created for battle, but we turned them into something more. If you start at the beginning, we were created to destroy evil, were we not?”
I nodded. Sometimes I forgot MJ was older than me. She didn’t always appear or act like it, but when she shared the knowledge of the past, I remembered.
“For us to be proficient in our mandate, they wanted us in pairs, and they figured the best way to create expert killers with less potential for death was to create angels that came from the same soul. As a result, the bond has certain attributes.” She gestured to her hand. “For example, I imagine it hurt when I shot Lucille through with an arrow.”
Seven Hells, she didn’t even sound guilty.
My shadows shot out toward her neck, but I stopped them before they could circle. “Careful.”
She chuckled. “That right there is your praesidium. I used to tell Knox his surly bastard was coming out to play.”
“And I’m sure as you insulted him, he swooned at your feet.”
“You bet your ass he did.”
“So what’s the purpose of the praesidium?”
“It’s a part of the bond. Any threat to the other half of your soul, and your soul will demand a reaction. Even if you hated Lucille, you’d have no choice. A part of you will always defend your other half. It can be seen as romantic or pragmatic.”
“So she’ll be affected by this too.”
MJ nodded. “It’s a safety mechanism, just like the ability to feel each other’s emotions. The more you know and can sense about each other, the better odds you’ll survive.” Her voice became soft at the end. “Sometimes, stronger bonds can develop a mind-to-mind connection, but it takes practice, trust, and power. Knox and I never achieved it, but we were content with what we had.”
A mind-to-mind connection…I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy that or hate it immensely. I had shields up at all times. The fact that she even infiltrated them unnerved me.
“Is it normal to be unable to hurt your cordistella?” I asked.
“Yes. You have to think of the bond ashow can we keep each other safe at all costs?Physically hurting each other will never work. Emotionally, on the other hand, is a different story. You won’t die from hurtful words.”
Which was probably why her powers were able to work on my mind.
“Do you know about the scars?” she asked, grabbing my hand and flipped it over, removing my glove.
“It’s the result of full acceptance, isn’t it?”
