When they parted again, there was a vulnerability thatlingered in Jarryn’s eyes. It almost broke Leander’s heart. “You’re thinking again. I can tell,” Jarryn murmured as he pulled away.
“Apologies… I do that on occasion,” Leander quipped as he took a sip of his tea.
“I can also tell that you’re not thinking about anything pleasant.”
“Go on then. What am I thinking about?”
“You think you want to disappear, so that no one will know your story, so you can keep hiding. But you aren’t really trying to hide from other people,” Jarryn muttered, and Leander glanced up to find the prince still scrutinising him.
“Really? Tell me… what am I hiding, then?”
“I don’t know. I would love to find out, though, if you would but let me in.” Jarryn smiled, though it was sad, and his eyes twinkled in the dimming light of the room. “What I think you really want is for someone to find you, right now. Deep down, you know that it doesn’t matter how far you think you can run, you’ll never be able to run away from yourself. And what do I want? For you not to hide from me…”
Leander was suddenly annoyed he had agreed to join Jarryn in this strange little tearoom. “I’m not hiding. I am cold and distant, or so I am told. People don’t want me around… and with good reason. One day, you’ll see that too.”
“How could they tell you are a cold person when they don’t talk to you, and I mean really talk to you? Not just to ask you for your favour or make judgements on your character… much like I did… before.” Jarryn smiled ruefully. “ButI want to know you now. I want to know more of that warmth I see in your eyes. If only you would let me in.”
“Who says I don’t let you?”
“You have walls around you, my lord. And not just those pesky Aesthesic barriers we all keep up. I want to break them first and show the world how wonderful and special you are before I snatch you away. Today you are my universe, but I want everyone to see how wonderful that universe is and how they all saw but didn’t look. How they all missed it for so long. AndthenI will show them how they have missed their chance and will never be able to stake a claim to your heart like I want to.”
Colour and heat flushed up Leander’s cheeks and he busied himself with a drink from his tepid sweet tea before conjuring a weak smile from his facial arsenal and speaking again. “I think you place too much worth on me.”
“And I think you should stop thinking for a few minutes.”
Leander’s eyes narrowed. “To cease to think would be just as hard as ceasing to breathe.”
“Perhaps. But I don’t like how your mind wanders down a dark path whenever left unchecked.”
“You can’t control it any more than I can.”
“Would that I could,” Jarryn said flippantly.
Frowning, Leander pushed himself to sit up a little in his chair. “You don’t mean that.”
Jarryn’s own brow creased before he shook his head. “No. No, I don’t.” A man so vehemently and vocally against the societal customs of Vyrica when it came to the ownership of another would never mean that.
Leander nodded. Aesthesia was frightening enough. Tothink that he could feel and manipulate the emotions of others, and others could do it to him. The thought of more overt and absolute control over a walking, talking man was too much to even comprehend.
The two stared at each other.
Leander spoke softly. “I’ve also been reflecting today…”
“A dangerous thing to be doing.”
Leander didn’t rise to the bait this time. “About us.”
Jarryn raised an eyebrow, levelling Leander with a hard stare that seemed to pierce right through to his very soul. “What would you like to happen between us?” He fidgeted with a loose bit of thread on Leander’s chair. “Because I want nothing less than the world for you and me. But you are immortal and I am not.”
“I will never be a god again.”
“You don’t know that, Leo.”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
Truth be told, even if Taskevi turned up this very second to offer to return him to his status as a demigod… he wasn’t sure he would even agree to taking his place among the pantheon again, because he was utterly terrified of what awaited him in Estalian.
Machus most of all. He knew he was treading a fine line between what was right and what Machus wanted.
