I hover my face in front of hers, meeting her eyes and wanting her to say it one last time. “You’re sure?” I scan her, looking for any doubt.
She stands a little taller and breathes out, “Yes.”
That one little word was it. I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her. It’s not a gentle kiss you give someone after not seeing them for a day. I’ve been wanting this for so long, and I long for it with every fiber of my being. I kiss her passionately, like this might be taken away at any moment. I explore her mouth, and she wraps her arms around my neck, her body melting into mine. My hand entangles in her damp hair, grasping it so she doesn’t pull away. Her lips are soft but not gentle as she kisses me like she has been deprived of this her entire life. I nip her lower lip, and she moans as her nails dig into me.
My hands trail down her body, feeling the curve of her sides down to her hips. Somehow, she’s still covered by the towel, hanging on by a thread. I grab her under her thighs, lift her against me, and walk into her bedroom. Her legs and arms cling to me. Lying her gently on the bed, I hover over her and trail kisses down her neck, pressing my body between her legs.
“Clay . . .” she pauses, and I reluctantly halt my efforts. Her eyes are wide as they bounce between mine. I search her face, waiting for her because I don’t want her to have any doubts about this. I’ll stop no matter how close we are. “You want this, right?”
I can’t stop a small smile from forming on my lips as I kiss her hard once again, and she melts into me. I pull away and hold her jaw in my hand. “Yes, Ry. I want you.”
Her eyes flick to my mouth as she presses her lips to mine and wraps her legs around me. The towel falls open between us, allowing me to feel her bare, soft skin against my chest. My fingers trail softly up her body, and she presses into my touch. I pull away, needing to look at her, as she helps shove my pants down my hips. Kicking them to the side, I watch as she rolls to the side of her bed, grabbing a condom from her nightstand.Biting the plastic open, she pulls out the rubber and doesn’t hesitate to roll it onto my cock. I almost see stars as her hands slide it up my shaft, but all of our movements are rushed like we’ve been waiting our entire lives for this moment.
I stifle back a groan at the sight of her lying back down before me. This woman is perfect, and I won’t ever get enough of seeing her body naked before me. Hovering over her, I kiss her hard, and her body arches into me. My cock rubbing against her entrance has me wanting to thrust inside of her. My hand skims down her curves to between her legs, and I let two fingers rub against her clit. She gasps against my lips, and I suck her bottom lip into my mouth. The heat against my fingertips has me thrusting a finger inside of her. Her body arches off the bed, and I trail kisses down her neck.
“Please,” she begs.
She doesn’t have to ask me twice. I’d do anything she wants. Pushing her knees further open, I lay on top of her and gently ease inside of her.Oh fuck.How am I supposed to last? Just entering her has me ready to go off. Her entire body clings to me, with her knees clutching me and her arms snaking around my neck. I stifle back a groan, feeling her wrapped around me. She grabs a handful of my hair, while her breathing grows heavier.
“Oh, god.” She grips my hair harder, and I kiss her neck, adding to the mark already there.
I ease out of her before thrusting back in. She feels indescribable, and I don’t think it’ll be possible for me to not want this every day. I’d be lucky if once a day was enough because I know having her this way will only make me want her more. A gasp escapes her, and I slow my movements and bring my mouth to hers. Her lips are soft and inviting, making the world seem right. It’s a dumb plan to be sex friends, but right now, I won’t be the one complaining. There’s nothing I want morethan to keep doing this for as long as she will let me. My chest rubs against her full breasts, and her nipples harden with each brush against them.
She pushes on my chest to nudge me to move to the headboard. I reluctantly break our kiss and move. Sitting up, she crawls across the bed and straddles me. Her toned body moving in front of me is a sight I will never forget. She looks like an angel who was made perfectly for me. I grip her thighs once she’s hovering over me. Lowering herself on my dick, I groan and bring her nipple to my mouth. It’s almost too much having her ride me, taking control like this. Licking the sensitive area, she clenches around me as she throws her head back, moaning. I will replay this over and over in my mind. Her breasts pressing into my face as she kneels onto my shaft. Raking my fingers down her back and holding her closer, I lightly nip her breast. She moves on me, forcing me to look at her, and crashes her mouth into mine as she continues to unashamedly ride me. My hands snake up her back, bringing our bodies flush together as I kiss her harder. My tongue stroking hers, needing to feel closer with her before I pull back, when her hands lightly press against me.
I watch her gasp as she rubs against me, grinding harder as she holds onto my shoulders. She clenches around me, and I grab her hips to help keep the pace going. Her moaning becomes louder before biting her lower lip, and I watch her ride her orgasm out. She slumps in my arms as the final waves of her release subsides. I wrap my arms around her and flip us. Her brown hair cascades around her on the bed, and I peer into her beautiful blue eyes.
“You’re so beautiful,” I say, cupping my hand against her cheek and kissing her.
I move inside her, feeling my own orgasm building with every thrust. Her breasts rub against my chest, and she bites herlip, looking down at our bodies rubbing together. The way she looks at me is like she doesn’t want this to end. I don’t either, but I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. She’s so sexy, and I’m doing everything I can to not go over the edge. Bringing myself out and moving deep inside her, I can’t help but think about this woman I’ve always had a thing for—and how, despite all the years apart, she’s always been in the back of my mind.
Her hands grab the back of my neck, and she kisses me urgently. I almost come just by her taking what she wants from me, because a part of her does actually want me. Our tongues tangle together, and all I think about is how this perfect woman is in my arms, and I want her and would do anything for her. Sucking on her bottom lip, my hand snakes between us to rub her clit. My fingers stroke her, and her body begins to move with me. The moans coming from her mouth are like a torturous song, making it hard for me to stay in control. My fingers move faster in rhythm with my cock, and she begins to tremble, crying out with another release. The nerves in my body are heightened as I groan while I find my own, falling on my forearms so I can catch my breath.
31
RYLEE: THEN
Rylee:18 years old
It hasn’t gotten any easier. It’s been a few weeks since I moved, starting at the University of Southern California, and months since Clayton left. My heart physically hurts not being near him. We did everything together. Every day, I find myself on the verge of texting or calling him when I realize I can’t anymore. I have started writing a letter only to wad it up into a ball and throw it away, around twenty times. I’m not even sure what I would have said to him at the airport. I just wanted to at least say goodbye, but I miss my best friend. It’s strange and lonely not having him, but not only that, it’s like I can’t be myself since part of me is gone.
The more time it’s been, the more I’ve been analyzing everything. Clayton didn’t handle everything right, but I also didn’t give him a way out. I just assumed it was what we were doing, and I don’t ever remember asking him if he was still on board with the plan. I knew he was going through a hard time with his dad, but I didn’t even stop to consider that maybe he would change his mind for his future. I’ve started a letter to him over and over again, but I can never get past the headingbecause, even though I can see how it was partly my fault, I’m still hurt. He hasn’t tried to reach out to me either which only makes me think something has happened to him.
Stretching my hamstrings, then my quads, I pop in my earbuds, blare “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkson, and run down the sidewalk toward the park. Palm trees line the paths as the perfect weather greets me each day. The sun blazes in the sky, but not without a gentle, cool breeze floating through the air. It doesn’t matter how many people I pass, they all ignore me. People here are only worried about what’s going on in their own little world, not the girl who feels like her life has crumbled. It’s weird being in a place where I don’t know everyone I come in contact with. Back home, I couldn’t run through town without multiple people stopping to greet me and ask about my parents.
Even running makes the tears come, but my therapist said it’s good to keep my body active. I found a therapist as soon as I moved here because it was the one requirement my mom had when I said I was moving across the country. She’s helped me through many breakdowns, but I’m not sure I’m on board with continuing the things I did with Clayton without him. Even with therapy, I haven’t been able to fully move past the hurt that is still lingering under the surface. The nightmares I get frequently aren’t helping. I can’t shake the feeling of something happening to him.
Rounding my favorite tree to take a break, I gasp and crouch to catch my breath. It takes forever to get back in shape after not running for weeks, but it takes no time at all to get out of shape. Pulling out my phone, I open the Kindle app and get comfortable on the ground, leaning my back against the tree. I put my earbuds away, and a gust of wind blows a few hairs out of my ponytail, whipping me in the face. Tucking them behind my ear, I extend my legs, cross my ankles, and open my favorite book,Pride and Prejudice.
I let all the sounds of the park crash over me. The birds sing in the trees. The squirrels jump from limb to limb as they play or fight over a nut. The dogs bark in the distance. The warm sun tickles my skin, and I know if I keep doing this, I’ll have a nice tan. I relax as the wind eases the hot sun's assault on my skin. I’m fully enveloped in the way Elizabeth bites off Darcy’s head for his half-ass proposal when someone clears their throat, startling me.
“I’m sorry. I thought you heard me walk up,” a man with a deep voice says, peering down at me.
Shielding the sun out of my eyes as I scrutinize him, the tall man has an athletic build and short brown hair. He’s wearing swim trunks, a T-shirt, sandals, and a black backpack. His smile sparkles above his chiseled chin as he appraises me in return. “Oh, it’s fine, just enjoying my book.” I gesture to the phone in my hand. “Can I help you?”
He shifts on his feet. “Well, I’m Ray, and this is going to sound weird.” He chuckles to himself before looking around.
“Okay?” I sit up, giving him my full attention.
