Still in my towel, I leave my bedroom and find him reading a book while sipping his coffee on my couch. I watch as he scans me. His eyes seem to darken the longer he looks at me. I can’t help noticing how relaxed he looks. No nervous tells. No rushed behavior. No shirt in sight, and I can’t stop myself from wondering something.
“I have an idea.”
30
CLAYTON: NOW
Lookingat this beautiful woman standing in front of me, I think I must have misheard her. I put down my coffee mug on the end table and sit forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “What?”
God, last night was torture enough, having her strip down to her underwear, wanting me to sleep with her. It took everything I had in me to tuck her in bed and resist my desires. She was way too drunk, but it’s not easy having the woman that you have liked basically your entire life throw themselves at you with nearly no clothes on. After I knew she was finally asleep, I laid down next to her and watched her sleep until my eyes were too heavy to keep open. But in this view, she stands a few feet in front of me in nothing but her beige bath towel. Her damp hair cascades down her back. She looks absolutely irresistible, and all I want to do is get my hands on her and never let go. Her legs peek out from under the towel, and it’s hard to focus knowing she’s completely naked under that small piece of fabric.
She stands taller, like she’s more sure in her decision. “I think we should have sex. You know, a friends-with-benefitstype of thing. Haven’t you seen all those movies where the couple has sex with no strings attached?”
I scrutinize her. “The ones where they all end up falling in love at the end?”
She scoffs and waves me off. “Yeah, but I’m not talking about that part. Sex. That’s it. No strings.”
I stand up, needing to be closer to her. She must be insane. What did all these years apart do to her to make her think this is a good idea? I watch her throat bob as she shuffles on her feet, the closer I get.
“We obviously have some attraction here.” She takes a small step back.
I nod. “Obviously.”
“Well, this would help us release some of that tension.” She takes another step away, driving me crazy in that towel.
“No strings,” I repeat.
“Yeah. Exactly.”
I nod again. “You’ve said that already.”
“Because I mean it.” She angles her face higher to look at me. “We can just get it over with. I’m sure it would be a one-time thing, especially with our history. I definitely don’t want more from you.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
I can tell she doubts her words as much as I do. Once I get my hands on her, there’s no way to take them off. I keep stalking toward her until her back hits the wall next to her bedroom door. “I’m sure.” There’s no way that would be remotely possible, but she’s staring up at me with those blue eyes and jaw set. She wants this. She doesn’t necessarily want me like I was hoping, but feeling wanted by her at all is sending me into a tailspin. I’m not sure that's a good thing, but it’s not a bad thing either.
Her breaths are heavy as I stand mere inches away, toweringover her. Her hands balled into little fists at her sides, waiting for me to decide.
I lean in, bracing my arm above her head and bringing my face to the side of her neck, right next to the little mark I made last night when I got carried away. She instinctively tilts her head to the side, and I love seeing how responsive she is to me. “You sure?” She smells so good, and her skin’s soft under my touch.
“Uh-huh,” her voice cracks. “Positive.”
“And when you want more?” I let the stubble on my chin graze her, and she exhales a breath on my neck. I want to lean in closer.
“Uh . . . we . . . won't.” She audibly swallows, and I can’t help but smile.
I grunt, placing a light kiss on her neck. Her answer is confirmation that she’s not as certain as she wants to be. “Just like that.” There’s no way this is a good idea, and I’m trying to show her it can never be just sex with us. But it doesn’t look like she feels the same way, or she’s in denial. I’m hoping it’s the latter.
“Yes.”
I nod, placing another kiss on her jaw. “You sure?”
“Yes,” she exhales. Her eyes flutter shut.
I kiss her cheek. “Friends?”
She swallows. “With benefits,” she finishes.
God, I hate this, but I want her. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t want her. I wish there was a way for her to want me even a fraction as much. I’d do anything for her, and right now, she wants a superficial fling with me. It might kill me in the process, but I can’t say no to her.
