“I think that’s a great idea, Henry! Best way for Ev to really get acclimated to the town. Plus, it’s supposed to be a real prettyday.”
“And who’ll be watchingyouwhile I’m out proving my manhood in the woods?” Ev demanded. He turned to me and scowled, pointing at Henry. “Do you know what I’ve already caught him doing this morning? Climbing a fucking ladder in the shop.On his crutch.And yes that’sonecrutch,singular, because unlike a normal human, he won’tbaby himselfby usingtwo.”
“I don’t need you smotheringme.”
“Then why did you have me come here?” Ev demanded, brandishing his fork in the air. “Why the hell did you want me to uproot my whole damn life to come help you if all you want is for me to leave you alone, or to listen to how Diane Perkins does everythingright?”
Henry’s eyes narrowed and he looked around like he wondered if Diane might have overheard. “I saidhelp, Everett. Notsmother.I appreciate you coming here, but I don’t need you watching me twenty-four hours a day. I’ve got alifeto lead. You’d best go out and get yourown.”
Ev’s face blanched. He put his fork down on the edge of his plate with aclick.
Henry floundered, his mouth opening and closing for a moment like a fish. He scowled. “Now, you know I didn’t mean itthatway, Everett. Don’t take itwrong.”
I didn’t get exactly how Hen’s words had hurt him, only that they had. Ev looked so vulnerable in that moment, as if he couldn’t decide whether he should kill or cry. Seeing him like that made me feel protective in a way I never hadbefore.
“How about you make the effort to say things the right way, then, Henry?” I said it mildly enough, but the look I gave Henry wasn’t mild at all. “How about you man up and do better than a half-assed apology, if youmisspoke?”
Henry’s head went back and he looked at me appraisingly for a second. Then he noddedslowly.
“Si’s right,” he said. Ev lifted his eyes, but not to his grandfather. Instead, that bright green gaze locked onme, and I couldn’t move. “I’m sorry, Everett. I just meant that I want you to get out and do things for yourself. Don’t worry about me somuch.”
Ev nodded, then took a deep, shuddering breath. “Alright,” he said softly. Then he gave me a small smile that shocked the shit out of me. “And I’ll go with you, Si. If you’d like thecompany.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Ofcourse.”
Just like the first night we'd met, seeing Ev's smile was like winning a prize. It was a chink in the wall he'd built between us, which was thrilling. But I was glad no one at this table could read my mind, or know how monumental this felt, because I was also scared asfuck.
Getting something you really wanted was always such a let-down that way. I liked focusing on the goal of attaining a thing, putting in the work, thinking of the whys and hows. All the calm, logical bits I could survey likeThe Terminator, and figure out how to attack and destroy. All the parts I couldcontrol.
But once I'd attained something, it became… I dunno. Terrifying, really. How did youkeepa thing? How did youholdit? And when you inevitably lost it, how did you deal with the shitty feeling of being reminded daily, by the whispers and kind looks of the people all around you, that you'd once had it and now youdidn'tanymore? Sometimes it was just better not to wantthings.
But I wasn't sure how not to wantEv.
The little seed of attraction had sprouted into a fucking tree of fascination, like all of my attempts to shut it down and deny its existence had acted like water and sunlight, just making the roots burrowdeeper.
And thatsmile…
Well. That smile made the terror nearlyworthwhile.
“So, I’ll pick you up at eleven?” I said, super-casual, like I didn't give a shit eitherway.
“Sure,” heagreed.
“It’s a date,” Dare said, giving me a way-too-knowing glance over the edge of his coffee cup. “Isn’t it,Si?”
A date, not ahookup, Dare meant. An importantdistinction.
“Yeah,” I said, giving Ev what I hoped was an easy smile. “Itis.”
