“I have regrets, too. I should have tried more to keep in touch with you, even though I didn’t want to see Father. And…I’ve regretted giving up my son every day since the day I did. Though I thought I was doing the right thing. Giving him a better life. One…different than mine.”
“Oh, Heather. I’m sorry. I take responsibility for your decision, too. If I’d been more like Donna, you would have felt like you could have come to me for help. You were all alone and so young.”
“But…I know it was wrong not to tell Jesse. He should have had some say in the decision. It’s just…I know Jesse. He would have insisted I keep the baby. And I don’t think that Jesse and I, at barely twenty, would have given the baby—his name is Blake, did Livy tell you that—we couldn’t have provided him with a very good life. And Jesse would have dropped out of school. We had no money. And Father would have…he would have made it difficult, if not impossible, to live here in Moonbeam. And Jesse loves Moonbeam. It’s part of him. I just wanted to give my son the best life possible. A normal life.”
“I’m sure you did what you thought was best for Blake.”Her mother reached over and squeezed her hand.“I just wish…I wish things had been different. That I had been different.”
“Oh, Mom, you should see Blake. He’s a good-looking kid. Skinny. He has Jesse’s blue eyes and blonde hair. And he’s taller than I am.”
“I can’t wait to meet him.”
Heather sat back. That’s right, her mother now had a grandson she’d known nothing about. Her decision had affected so many people. Not the least, Jesse. And Blake.
“I want to try and make things right now.”She let out a long sigh.“But how in the world am I ever going to do that?”
“You start by talking to Jesse and Blake.”
Jesse gave up on trying to sleep. He’d tossed and turned for hours. He crawled out of bed and padded barefoot down the hallway. He couldn’t resist peeking in on Blake.
The boy was sprawled across the bed, his blanket a tangle around him. He looked peaceful in sleep, younger than his years. Jesse resisted the urge to go over and push his hair back from his eyes. He didn’t want to chance waking him up. He marveled that this perfect person was part of him. His son. He still couldn’t get used to the idea, but he had to admit he was pretty pleased with it. He never thought he’d have a child…and now he did. Not a child exactly, but a young man.
Blake’s backpack was dumped in the corner with its few possessions spilled out on the floor. He’d deal with that today, too. Take him shopping for more clothes. And he’d have to get more groceries. The boy could eat. He’d gobbled down dinner along with a dessert or three, then a snack before bed.
He wandered out to the deck and sat in the moonlight. Barely controlled anger washed through him, wave after wave. He clenched his teeth just thinking about Heather and this awful thing she’d done to him. To Blake.
The anger was mixed with sadness for all he’d missed in Blake’s life. His first words, first steps, being able to teach him how to throw a ball or how to fish.
They’d tried to get ahold of Blake’s aunt yesterday and finally left a message. He wondered how that was going to work out when she finally received it. And he had to talk to a lawyer first thing. So many uncertainties.
Well, there wasonecertainty. He was going to do everything in his power to help the boy, and if at all possible, he wanted Blake to move here and live with him. Father and son. Like it should have been all along.
Chapter 18
Heather hurried into Sea Glass Cafe as soon as it opened. She had something she justhadto do. First she picked up some of Evelyn’s cinnamon rolls. A growing boy had to eat, didn’t he?
“You going to take these over to Jesse’s?”Livy asked as she boxed up the rolls.
“I am. Don’t know if he’ll accept them, but I’m going to try. I need to shop a bit at the general store first, too.”
“Good luck talking to Jesse and Blake today.”Livy gave her an encouraging smile. Which was good, because she needed all the encouragement and support she could get.
“Thanks, I’ll need it.”
She crossed into the general store and looked around, uncertain what she was after. She knew nothing about Blake, really. She picked out a t-shirt that said Moonbeam Bay on it, hoping she’d guessed the right size. Then a pocketknife, because didn’t all boys like those? Then she second-guessed herself. Was a pocketknife an acceptable gift? But she could remember Jesse carving things out of driftwood when they were kids.
Okay, she’d get the pocketknife and quit dithering on her decision.
She’d also carefully wrapped up a drawing of hers that she’d had for years. A small, blonde-haired boy playing in the waves. It had been her dream of what he might be like. And now…Would she get a chance to go to the beach with him? Walk on the shore. Play in the waves. Go shelling. Simple things. Things a mother would do with her son.
She got a card after wavering back and forth on which one to buy, then grabbed a gift bag and went to check out.
“Morning,”Aunt Donna greeted her, eyeing the purchases.
“Yes, they are for Blake.”
Donna eyed the card, and her eyes widened.“Really?”
She just nodded and fought back tears. Tears. Where were they coming from? She wanted to get back to her normal, never-crying self.
