Chase slams his hand on the table like he’s trying to emphasize a point. “Yeah, man. You don’t sit back and let the girl of your dreams walk out because you’re ‘too busy figuring things out.’ You do something about it.”
The truth lands in my chest like a punch I didn’t know I needed.
“Yeah,” I glance from one friend to the other. “I’m scared she’s already gone. What if she doesn’t want to hear me out?”
Troy gives me a look like he’s studying me. “If you don’t give her the chance to hear you, she won’t. You need to fight for her, tell her what you need to, which is that you messed up. That you’re trying, but you need to be better for her.”
Chase smirks, lifting his beer. “Damn, Troy. Look at you getting all wise on us. Kinda hot, man.”
Troy rolls his eyes. “Shut up. I’m serious, though. Stop overthinking it, Jared. Don’t wait for some magical fix. Takeaction now. And… tell her how she’s hurt you, too, man. There's always two sides of the coin.”
I laugh, the tightness easing slightly. “You guys are nuts, but I get it.”
Chase throws a fry at me, his grin widening. “Hell yeah, you do. And now? You figure out what the hell you’re gonna do next with that big ol’ heart of yours. This isn’t something you let slip away.”
Troy holds my shoulder. “But, you know, don’t screw it up again.”
“I’m working on it."
There’s a long pause where I just sit there, thinking. I’ve spent too many days trying to ignore the truth. It’s time to own it. Without Alli, nothing feels right. And fixing this? That’s on me.
The guys banter again, talking about hot dogs or whatever, but I don’t hear them. Why the hell didn’t she listen? Why didn’t I make things clearer for her? Why do we have to keep making everything harder than it needs to be?
Guilt hits me hard. Alli’s family showed me exactly the side she feared was real. It wasn’t just her perception. I fucked up with her, yes, but her aunt had no reason to speak about me that way. Alli warned me, and I should’ve known better. Should’ve seen it coming. But none of that changes the fact that she’s hurt. And I’m the asshole who let it happen.
I slam the beer down, frustration biting through every muscle in my body. Enough of the moping, enough of the waiting for some perfect moment to fix this. I can’t keep spinning in circles.
I need to show her. To fight for her, like I should’ve done from the start. This has to happen. Whatever happens, I’ve got to act now.
Chapter 39
Alli
The pieces of my old puzzles are scattered across the coffee table, the jagged edges catching the light as if mocking me. I haven’t touched them in days; my mind’s been too busy running marathons at all hours.
It’s ridiculous, really. They’re just puzzles. Inanimate objects. But they’ve always been my escape, my way of shutting out the chaos, bringing in the peace, and focusing on something that made sense.
Lately, nothing makes sense.
The words I said to Jared replay in my mind on a cruel, endless loop:I can’t keep fighting for someone who’s already given up.
My ribs press against the air in my lungs as I pick up a puzzle piece, tracing its edge with my fingertip. I thought I was standing up for myself, setting boundaries, and protecting my heart. But now all I feel is this hollow ache, like I broke something I don’t know how to fix.
Did I go too far? Was I too harsh? Maybe I misunderstood him. I definitely did, in the heat of the moment. Maybe there’s something he didn’t say, something I didn’t catch. But how could I not see it? Was I so blinded by everything else that I let the truth slip through the cracks?
I haven’t spoken to Jared since that night. At first, I buried myself in last-minute studying, term papers, and exams, convincing myself I didn’t have time to think about him. Andeven buried in the silence of my room, his absence is all I can hear.
The buzz of my phone pulls me from my thoughts. For a split second, I hope it’s him. Stupid, I know. But when I glance at the screen, it’s Evelyn.
Evelyn:are you alive? haven’t heard from you in days!
Me:i’m fine. just busy with school.
Evelyn:liar. call me!
I sigh and tap her name. Her face fills the screen, framed by the moon’s glow in her room. She takes one look at me and arches an eyebrow.
“Wow, you look… great,” she says, sarcasm dripping from her words.
