Chapter 27
Alli
A few hours and way too many overpriced drinks later, we’re ready to call it a night. Or at least, most of us are. Serena, in all her relentless, adventure-seeking glory, decides wehaveto check out Sullivan’s Beach. Which is how I end up here, sand in my shoes, the salty breeze tangling in my hair, with the crash of the waves filling the silence between us.
The moon is casting a perfect silvery glow over the water like we’re in some kind of movie. I sneak a glance at Jared beside me, his hands shoved in his pockets, eyes fixed on the waves. Meanwhile, Serena and Tyler are way ahead of us, doing the whole hand-holding, giggling couple thing.
I haven’t felt this peaceful in so long, and that’s the part that freaks me out the most. Because the second I let myself fall, I know it’ll hurt like hell. It’s almost like standing still on a tightrope, the air perfectly balanced, and knowing the ground beneath could give way at any second.
I bite my lip and tear my eyes from Jared to stare at the water instead. Maybe it’s the quiet of the beach, the way the sound of waves drowns out my racing thoughts. Or maybe it’s him, the one person who makes me forget my walls exist. Who kissed me like it mattered and looked at me like I, only I, mattered.
I feel his eyes on me, and I swear, it’s like the air shifts. Jared doesn’t say anything at first, just holds my gaze, and it feels like we’re both waiting for the other to make the first move. My heart’s pounding, my thoughts running rampant for me to think and see straight.
He breaks the silence, “I can practically hear you thinking. What about?”
It’s a loaded question, and we both know it. I could brush it off, crack a joke, and keep things easy, but I’m too far gone for that. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, stalling, but I don’t look away.
“You,” I admit. The moment it leaves my lips, I feel exposed, like I’ve just given him a piece of me I can’t take back.
Silence greets us again. He doesn’t say anything, but I can hear his breathing with the way his chest rises slowly.
Now I’m starting to regret everything.
“Forget I said anything—”
“It’s different now, between us.”
Here we go. The same vomiting heartbreak I felt years ago—it’s back, and I’m bracing for impact.
“Just forget it,” I say, shaking my head. “We’re friends. We’re not supposed to be anything else.”
“Just let me finish,” he insists, his voice low but intense. “I don’t know how it happened. Hell, I didn’t even see it coming. But now I can’t stop thinking about you. About us.”
He tugs me off the path, firm but easy, leading me behind a small beach shack tucked in the sand. The world keeps moving beyond us, but here, in this quiet pocket of space, everything stills. All that’s left is the sound of our breathing—somehow in sync.
Us.
That one little word sends my mind reeling in multiple directions. It’s like he gave me a roadmap with one location, andI can’t figure out whether to go left or right. He’s voicing all the fears I’ve kept buried, the things I haven’t let myself even think about. And before I can process any of it, panic surges through me.
“You don’t mean that,” I blurt, the words tumbling out without any real thought. “You’re just caught up in the moment. We shouldn’t have hooked up that night, we shouldn’t gone along with this—”
“No,” he cuts me off, “this stopped being fake for me a long time ago.”
I feel my chest pounding like a snare drum to the point that I don’t know if I’m dreaming. “What?”
“We’re way past friends, Alli,” he murmurs, his voice rough, like it’s scraping its way out of his throat. “Friends don’t look at each other like this. They don’t make each other feel like this.”
“Like what?” I ask, my heart in my throat, waiting for the answer I’m not sure I’m ready to hear.
“Like this.” He steps closer, the air between us crackling. “Like how you’re stuck in my head all the damn time. How every time you’re near, it’s like gravity’s pulling me in. It’s not just the kiss. Not just the nights we’ve spent together. It’s everything. You’re everything.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” My voice comes out shaky, matching my pulse’s uneven rhythm. I need him to say it. To make it real.
“You’re in my head, Alli. You’re the girl who keeps me awake at night.”
I freeze. He’s standing closer now, his hands still tucked in his pockets, but I can feel the load of his words pressing down on me.
“You’re the girl that somehow makes me like caramel lattes,” he continues, a small smile pulling at his lips, but his eyes, those blue eyes that pull me in every time in a way that feels far too dangerous. I try to breathe normally, but his words are sinking into me, pulling me under. He shifts, nervous, like he’s about to leap off a cliff, unsure if there’s water waiting below.
