I exhale, raking my fingers through my hair. “What do you want me to say, Ty? Rehab isn’t exactly a walk in the park. It’s not easy for her.”
Tyler doesn’t flinch. “Yeah, I get that. But areyouokay?”
The question throws me off. I wasn’t expecting him to ask about me. It’s always about her—how she’s doing, what’s next for her, when she’ll be out. No one asks me how I’m holding up, and I’m not sure how to answer.
“I’m fine,” I say automatically, my go-to response when I don’t want to get into it. But even I don’t believe it. The truth is, it’s been hell. And it’s not something I want to unpack right here, with the smell of cheap beer, people bumping against us here and there, and the sound of laughter packing the air around us.
“I know she hasn’t called you lately or shown up for the last few appointments.”
“I’m used to it. It’s fine, I’mfine.”
“Man, you don’t have to pretend with me. I know it sucks. She’s still your mom, no matter what she has or hasn’t done.”
I inhale sharply to keep my emotions in check, but the truth slips out either way. “I don’t even know if I want her to come around anymore. Every time she does, it’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop. One minute, she’s trying. Next, I don’t hear from her. It’s like I’m the only one trying to maintain this relationship.”
My eyes find Alli, who has moved onto the dance floor with Serena. Alli looks over her shoulder again, her eyes meeting mine briefly before she turns back. Something in the way she looks at me makes my chest tighten—like a silent invitation, a tether pulling me closer even when she turns away.
Tyler gives me that look again, the one that says he understands more than I want him to. “You still care about her, though. I know you send her money every now and then. Nowthatis a son who cares.”
I grit my teeth, the frustration boiling over. “What choice do I have? She’s my mom. But how many chances can I give her before I just… stop?”
Tyler leans back, giving me a moment to breathe. “Just… don’t shut people out that easily, man. Especially Alli.”
“I’m not shutting her out,” I say, though deep down I know it’s not completely honest.
Tyler shrugs, unconvinced. “Sure.”
I glare at him, frustration bubbling up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He gives a slow shake of his head. “You remember how long it took for you to open up to me? It was like pulling teeth just to get you to admit you weren’t okay. If it took that long for us, how easy do you think it’ll be for Alli?”
I know Tyler’s right, but hearing it laid out like that makes it sting. I haven’t even fully figured things out with myself, let alone let someone else see it.
Tyler continues, “If you’re not careful, you’re gonna lose her. And not just her.” Our eyes stray over to the girls who are having the time of their lives on the dance floor, seeing each other after being apart for months. “Alli has been there for Serena since they were kids. They’re thick as thieves. You think Serena will ever forgive you if you hurt Alli?”
I run a hand over my face, frustrated. “It’s not that simple.”
“It never is,” he agrees, “but that’s the thing with people who care. They’ll stick around, but you’ve got to let them in at some point.”
I fall quiet, his words plunging deep where I can’t escape. Letting people in on my problems is something I’m not used to. I’ve been keeping everything bottled up for so long, trying to deal with my mom, the pressure of football, and the constant expectation to be fine when I’m anything but. It’s exhausting.
“I’ll try,” I mutter, knowing that’s the best I can give him right now.
Tyler’s silent for a beat, then pats me on the back. “That’s all anyone’s asking.”
As his words settle in, I glance over at the dance floor, where Alli is lost in laughter with Serena. The sight wrenches at something inside me, a reminder of what it feels like to be unguarded. Maybe opening up isn’t as terrifying as I thought. Maybe it could actually lighten the load I’ve been carrying.
“Thanks for tonight’s therapy session,” I say, the sincerity in my voice surprising even me.
Tyler pats me on the back again, harder this time, flashing a grin. “Thank me by buying me a drink. I don’t hand out sessions for free that often.”
I let out a low laugh. “Asshole.”
“Nah, just thirsty.” He shoots me a smirk before nodding toward the dance floor. “And while you’re at it, stop staring at Alli like she’s gonna vanish into thin air. She’s not going anywhere. We’re not in Infinity Wars.”
My eyes zero in on her. She’s laughing with Serena, her body swaying to the music, completely at ease. But then hergaze shifts, locking with mine. Her smile falters for the briefest moment, a flash of uncertainty crossing her face before she quickly covers it up. But I catch it. I see it.
And it’s only then I realize I’m not letting her slip away.
