“He’s going to be fine, dear. I wanted to call so you wouldn’t worry.”
“Does Alex know?”
“Yes, dear, I called him. Robert has had episodes before, and this one wasn’t as bad as others. The doctors here have examined him thoroughly and given him new medication.”
I leaned against the counter. There was nothing I could say. I know this was about them, but I could only think of myself. Horribly selfish. But I felt like a fool for wishing, for letting them in, for wanting them to be mine.
“Sam?”
“I’m here.”
“He wants to talk to you. Just a moment.”
“Mrs. Muir, he should rest, please don’t—” I didn’t want to hear the professor’s voice. I wanted them to fade away. I wanted to finish washing the dishes, keep their garden, pay their bills, and in a month—pack my bags.
“Sam?” The professor’s voice was soft and breathy.
“I’m here. Are you okay?” I wiped my hand across my eyes, leaving a trail of suds.
“Did I scare you?”
“I think you scared everyone.”
“I’m sure I did, but I bet I got you . . . I bet I got you good, Sam.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Oh, Sam, I see so much in you. We’re alike, like father and daughter. And I think you feel . . .” His voice grew soft and drifted away.
The line fell silent, and I panicked. “Professor? Professor?”
“Sam?” It was Mrs. Muir. “He’s asleep, dear. He’s been so anxious to talk to you, and I think now that he’s heard your voice, he can rest.”
“My voice?”
“Don’t you know how much you mean to him?” She paused. “Sam, God was good to us today. Don’t forget that. Robert will be fine, and we’ll be home soon.”
“I don’t know . . .” Tears trickled down my checks. “This doesn’t sound good.”
“Oh, darling. You should see the look of peace on Robert’s face right now. We were right next to a police officer when he had the episode, and he’s been given a wonderful report. We are blessed.”
I wanted to believe her, to have her faith and confidence. I felt my heart trip forward—almost to hope.
They’re going to stay in Paris a few days longer so the professor can rest before continuing to Spain. And if he gets too tired, they’ll stop completely and wander in the “pink light” of Paris. I didn’t get that. Is the light really pink there?
I hung up the phone, and fear crept back into me. I felt small and alone. I called Alex. It was the first time I’d initiated contact—a huge mistake and not my finest moment. I didn’t even say hi.
“You knew. You knew and you didn’t tell me? Don’t you think I care? I know they mean more to you, but I’m staying in their house. I’m not a nobody, Alex. How could you do that to me?”
“Nice to hear from you, Sam.”
“Don’t give me that.”
“Give you what? Mom M called me twenty minutes ago. I didn’t call you because you were her next call. Calls one and two, Sam. I don’t think you could’ve found out any faster.”
“Well . . .” My anger lost its steam. “Still . . .”
“Still what?”
