“Funnily enough, yesterday I didn’t find you here.” He looked at me as if he had me figured out, though I didn't say anything. “It seems you have other places you like to be.”
“I’m exploring the campus grounds as a new student,” I scoffed, now more annoyed that I had to explain myself when he had no business knowing it. “Did you just admit you were stalking me?”
“If I were stalking you, I’d knowexactlywhere you were yesterday and what you were up to.” Why did he say those words as if he really knew what I did?
It was a funny image, though. Me, getting fucked by Amos behind a barn, whileLord Grimwald,esteemed Captain of the Army, watched from behind the trees like a voyeur.
He cleared his throat, and I glanced back at him from where my eyes had drifted off to. “I’m here to confirm you do spend your free time at the library, reading about …” His red eyesfocused on the book. “Teleportation. That seems too advanced for a first year.”
“Well, I plan to specialize in it,” I blathered, even though I really wasn’t thinking about it. Now that I said it out loud, it felt right that this would be my specialty.
Didn’t it?
Lord Grimwald studied me with more interest, but also with a stern look on his face. “The Kingdom does need more teleport mages. Very admirable, Lady Beatrix.”
I never planned to help the Kingdom with whatever I learned with teleportation. I didn’t care to say it to him.
“Thank you, my lord,” I spoke with complete disinterest. “If you’ll excuse me, I plan to focus on my reading like a good student.” I went back to my book, but I couldn’t completely focus on it until he left, which took longer than I wanted.
My mind was reeling by lunchtime. When I kept rereading the last paragraph seven times, I knew I’d make no progress.
I returned the book to the shelves instead of borrowing it because I doubted I’d be able to read in my dorm with three people hovering over me. Finding the time to go to the library when classes started seemed more practical.
Mia and my bodyguards were meeting me at the dining hall for lunch, but was it a wonder when I wasalmostthere and someone interrupted me again?
“Ela,” Elias stood straight from where he was leaning against a building wall. “You’re alone?” He looked over my shoulders like he expected my bodyguards to appear.
I froze in my spot. I hadn’t seen him since we arrived at Aerahelm, and I hadn’t really tried looking for him. Did that make me a bad friend?
Didn’t he hate me? I thought he only took advantage of my entourage so he could get here safely. As was his right. I didn’t think my apology would be enough for my transgression against him.
The transgression that I couldn’tfuckingremember. Or, more accurately, that my brain actively refused to remember. Was itthatembarrassing? Horrifying? Life-altering?
“I’m sorry, Eli,” I blurted out, clasping my hands together. “For what happened all those years ago. I swear I won’t do it again. I’m trying to be a better person.”
I was an idiot, apologizing for something I couldn’t even remember. And I felt like Eli knew it too, because he looked at me funny like I was crazy, before he had a stupid grin on his face.
“Ela, I already forgave you a long time ago. I forgave you on the spot when it happened.” He clutched my shoulders as he stepped closer to me. “We were stupid teenagers. It shouldn’t even be brought up anymore. So why …?”
Before I could answer, his eyes lit up in understanding. “You thought I’m still mad at you?” He stepped even closer as he buried his face in my hair. “All these years, you think I could get angry at you for that long?”
“But you disappeared as soon as we arrived,” was my lame explanation, pouting a little.
“I didn’t want to bother you,” he mumbled into my hair, nuzzling it. “If I had known you’d feel this way, I wouldn’t have left.” He stepped away, smiling. “I thought you hatedme.”
My eyes rounded in shock. “Why would I hate you?”
He chuckled, biting his lip. “Let’s see. After what happened, you ran away from your own debutante ball, and never showed yourself at any social gatherings again? You were a recluse inyour own home. By choice. I thought it was my fault, and I couldn’t see you because you refused any visitors.”
Oh, my god.What the hell was I thinking? Help me out here, brain!
Brain?
Ifmy braindidn’t want to help me, then I had no choice but to be truthful. Somewhat.
“The years I spent as a recluse are very fuzzy in my head,” I admitted as I fiddled with the sleeves of my dress. “Honestly, my whole life seems like a blur in my mind. It’s like I was reborn these past few weeks.”
Elias stared at me like I grew a second head. Which, unironically, was kind of what was happening to me.
