Park sighed. “No. Maybe.” He wanted to say more, but it would be lost on Jackson. But Park had endured a whole campaign full of protestors telling him the Republican Party was made up of rich, white men looking to line their own pockets at the expense ofthe American people. Park wanted to set an example: conservatives had solid ideas for fixing health care, reducing government spending and waste, and making the tax system fair. Republicans could be responsible lawmakers, even if it didn’t seem that way if one followed politics. Park wanted to show that the party, if it got back to its roots, could be a force for good. And the part of Park thatwanted to please everyone also wanted to convince Jackson that being a Republican didn’t make him an asshole, but he held his tongue.
Jackson nodded. “Okay. What about other lovers?”
“Are you asking if I’m seeing someone?”
“As your lawyer. A romantic entanglement might impact the case.”
Park sighed. “Unlikely, but I am single at the moment. I have to limit my love affairs to thoseI know I can trust to be discreet.”
Jackson squirmed a little. “Of course.” He was clearly as uncomfortable as Park. Probably he was imagining what it must be like to sneak around.
It hadn’t been fun; Park had never gotten used to the gut-churning fear that came with never knowing who was safe and who would sell him out. He cleared his throat. “No one has lasted.”
“Right.” Jacksonscribbled something on his pad. “How could it?”
“What about you?” Park burned with curiosity. He had no right to any information about Jackson, but he wanted to know anyway.
“Who I sleep with is not relevant to this case.”
“You’re the one who wanted to sweep away the bullshit. I’m asking as your ex now. Are you with someone these days?”
“No, but this is one of those boundariesI mentioned. I’m here now because I’m your lawyer, not your ex-boyfriend.”
“I know, but—”
Jackson dropped his pad. As he bent to pick it up, he said, “I fantasized for a long time about a moment when we’d see each other and we’d just hash out everything. We have a big fight where we air all our grievances, or I finally tell you everything I’ve wanted to say since you left. I’ve mentallyrehearsed exactly that speech a million times. But I can’t give it now. I woke up this morning thinking I would, but I can’t. We need to draw a very clear line in the sand. We were never together, there’s nothing romantic between us, I’m here solely as your lawyer.”
Park considered. Clear boundaries were probably for the best.
Because when he’d spent the night of the murder lying awake,Jackson was the first person he’d thought of, the only lawyer he knew he could trust to believe him and defend him without his own self-interests at the forefront. He didn’t trust his other lawyers that far. He knew Jackson would keep his secrets, because Jackson always had. But it was more than that, too. If Park was completely honest with himself, he’d wanted to see Jackson again. Wanted to makesure he was okay, wanted to know he’d gone on with his life.
Because if Park had any regrets, the main one was leaving Jackson Kane. It had been the right decision at the time. Park never would have accomplished all that he had to this point if he’d stayed with Jackson. But sometimes, when he lay alone in the dark at night, he wondered if all of his success was worth leaving someone he’d onceloved with his whole heart.
Perhaps it was all water under the bridge now. He couldn’t undo it, and in his current position, he couldn’t be with Jackson again.
It felt like they were at an impasse. Jackson ate some eggs.
“You’re right,” Park said. “Of course you’re right. Boundaries.” The silence stretched between them, becoming stiff and awkward. “It wasn’t just one thing. In theend, I mean.”
Jackson put his fork down. “I’m going to regret asking this, but I have to know. Was it me? Did I do something?”
Park waited and watched a range of emotions pass over Jackson’s face. Jackson had the best poker face Park had ever known, which probably made him an excellent lawyer. But now the walls were down.
Park’s heart must have cracked. The pain in his chest was tangible.He wanted to reach out to Jackson, touch him, comfort him, but he kept his hands in his lap. “No. It wasn’t you. It could never be you.”
“Then what was it?”
Park understood why Jackson wanted to know, but he couldn’t say anything that would explain it adequately. He didn’t have the vocabulary for it. “It started with my father, which you’ve probably guessed by now. He thought I was moochingoff him.”
Jackson tilted his head. “You were working for him.”
“Part of my motivation for founding Ving was to get out from under his thumb. I was tired of feeling like I owed all my success to him. I wanted to prove I could succeed on my own. And I got the seed money fast. You must remember that. I had a line of investors tripping over themselves to get in on the next big thing. I’m suremy name didn’t hurt. But then we...well. I mentioned to Dad that I was thinking about politics, too. We fought about that more than anything else. How could I possibly run for office with all my liberal ideas and still be a businessman? Didn’t I know the Democratic Party wanted to undermine business across the country?”
“That’s not actually true.”
“It is in some ways. Regulation chokesthe free market.”
“You’re a conservative because you want to keep your money.”
