“Hi! Great to meet you guys. I’m Sophie.” I give a little wave and then want to die. I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Who waves at people like that?
But Sarah waves back with a chuckle, and I feel a bit more at ease already. “Are you the first one here?” she asks.
“From what I can tell, yeah. Just got here a few minutes ago.”
“Which room is yours?” Angie asks.
“Room A, what about you?”
She smiles, “Me too! Sarah, you're in C, right?”
“Oh—,” I say sheepishly, “Do you want to switch? I'm sure you want to room together since you guys are friends…” I trail off, feeling more silly by the second.
Angie huffs a laugh. “Oh, girl we just met downstairs. And we are all going to be besties! Just you wait.”
I nod, smiling again. “Can I help you guys bring anything in?” I eye a wagon in the hallway, piled high with boxes and bags.
“Yes, please! And if you need help getting anything from your car, feel free to use the wagon. We are heading down for Angie's stuff next,” Sarah chimes.
“Thank you, you’re a lifesaver. I just about died when I saw how far I'd have to walk lugging boxes by hand.”
Angie retrieves a bluetooth speaker from her backpack and throws on some music then gets to work unloading a box of dishes and cutlery.
I help them unpack, singing along to the playlist and laughing at Sarah’s horrible dish-stacking logic. We hang posters, trade stories, and by the time the sun starts to dip, I realize I haven’t thought about the ache in my chest for almost an hour.
Progress, I guess.
I’m building a life here. I just wish he was here to see it.
44
SOPHIE
Two months into my first semester of college, I’m having a blast. I’ve never known freedom like this. I’m tired, I miss Sal, and still ache for Theo, but I love my classes, and I love my new friends. I spend my days alternating between various art classes and general education requirements, which I surprisingly don’t mind taking.
Evenings are spent relaxing at the dorm, typically curled up on the couch watching movies with my roommates. Weekends I’m often convinced to go out and explore the city, enjoying local band shows and shopping to our hearts content.
I’m happy. More so than I ever thought possible.
The only thing I haven’t done is date. Despite Angie and Sarah’s best efforts, and even Sal’s when she comes to visit for the weekend, I just can’t. I have no desire to entertain any male attention. My heart and soul still belong wholly to someone else.
Maybe one day that feeling will fade. Maybe one day I’ll want to meet someone, want to find love. But for now, I’m fully focused on my own growth. My own healing. And experiencing all the wonderful things my new life has to offer.
Occasionally though, I’ll catch someone out of the corner of my eye… someone tall, with dark, curly hair. But when I turn, he’s always gone. I’m convinced it’s all a figment of my imagination, my soul still yearning for his.
It’s Saturday morning and I’m walking to the coffee shop up the street, waiting for Sal to arrive. She’s coming for the weekend and we will go out tonight with the roomies and then spend Sunday being lazy. Honestly, I think Sal is bored at home. She visits pretty often, especially when Jace is out of town.
I walk into the coffee shop where I’m now a regular and wave to the barista, “Hey, Thomas!”
“Hi Sophie,” he says with a smile. He’s asked me out a couple of times now, but I always politely say no. If I was ready to date, he’d be a great guy to try with. He’s always a gentleman. “Want the regular?”
“Yes, but make it two of them.”
“Late night?” he raises an eyebrow.
“No, meeting up with a friend.”
“Ah, okay. Got it.” His face falls just a bit, and I realize he thinks I meant a guy. No reason to correct him, so I just leave it be.
