He finishes up and I pay, taking the drink carrier and stepping back out into the street. I freeze, nearly dropping the drinks onto the concrete. Across the street, inside a shop, I see someone that looks exactly like Theo.
The glare on the glass panes makes it a bit difficult to tell for sure, but I swear, that has to be him. I dart across the street, my heart pounding in my chest, almost colliding with a car. They blare their horn and I jump about a foot high, sloshing coffee onto my shirt.
Great.
No time to hesitate, though. I blow through the doors of the shop and spin in a circle, searching every corner for him, buthe’s gone. I spin again, begging the universe to let him be here.Don’t let this be a figment of my imagination.
But he’s not here. Likely never was.
I set down the drinks on the edge of a table and wipe at my eyes, blinking back tears of frustration. Why does my mind keep doing this? It’s just not fucking fair. I want to stomp my feet like a child, throw the drinks at the wall, scream at the top of my lungs.
I don’t. I woman up and take a deep, calming breath, collect my drinks, and head home.
Sal is waiting for me at my place, already having made herself comfortable on the couch. Ashley, another roommate of ours that I’m not as close with, sits by her side as they both zero in on the phone screen in Sal’s hand.
“Hi! What’re we looking at?” I ask, smiling when Sal’s eyes lift to meet mine.
“Ah! Soph!” Sal jumps from the couch, running to give me a hug. “Just scrolling tinder. Much better options out here than we have at home.”
I laugh, rolling my eyes. “Oh, come on, you just got here. Man hunting already?”
“Always, love,” she says with a wink.
I roll my eyes, knowing how unserious she is about men. It's all fun and games for her. She’s never been in a serious relationship, so unlike myself. Opposites attract, they say, and it’s definitely the case with the two of us.
Angie comes out from our room, hair still wrapped in a towel from her shower. “Hey, bitches!”
“Hi, hi!” says Sal, reaching out to give her hand a squeeze. These two became fast friends, though Sal can befriend just about anyone.
“Okay, what’s the plan for tonight?” Sal asks.
Angie jumps in, “I think we are going to the Masquerade, right? A local rock band is playing, should be fun.”
“Sounds perfect to me,” I say, my mind running away from me for just a moment… To when Theo and I met, just two strangers in a bar. With no idea that he’d become my first true love and also be the first to truly break my heart.
“Nope, snap out of it,” Sal snaps at me. “I see where your mind is going. Don’t do that.”
I shrug, shaking it off. “Can’t help it.”
Angie makes a sad face at me. The girls know I had my heart broken by someone who left, but they don’t know the whole story. They don’t know that he was my teacher, and I plan to keep it that way. At least for now.
“Alright, I’m gonna shower and get ready. Be back out in a few!”
I shut myself in the bathroom, crank up the heat high enough to clear my mind of the beautiful, but now painful memories, and shower away the hurt. Then I get ready to go have fun out on the town.
We decide to take an Uber to the venue, since no one wants to deal with parking when we arrive. It’s too much of a pain downtown. We’re all dressed to the nines, because why not? It feels good to get dolled up, helps me feel alive again.
The venue is already packed, loud music blasting from the speakers as all six of us stalk through the entrance. This is the first time in my life I’ve ever had a true group of friends. It’s a powerful feeling, knowing there are so many people that have your back. It’s a blast, too.
Never a dull moment when all of us are together.
Sal snaps a photo of us and quickly posts it to Instagram, tagging all of us. Such a show off. I giggle at her silliness, though I have a feeling it’s likely done on purpose… I bet there is a certain someone she’s hoping sees it.
We dance and sing, swaying our hips to the beat, getting lost in the music and the crowd of bodies littering the dance floor. Sal finds someone to buy her a drink and she chugs itdown as she commands the small space we’ve inhabited, her movements loose and flowy.
After almost two hours of dancing, I run out of steam, and excuse myself. I sneak away to the bathroom, then find a seat at the bar, tucked away in the corner. It takes me a few minutes to catch my breath.
I order a Coke and take it slow, letting the cold bubbles settle on my tongue. Across the venue, my friends are still dancing, Sal swaying her hips like she owns the place. I smile, watching her for a second. Then I look away, down at the condensation on my glass, trying to stay present in the moment, trying to be okay.
