Ashley jerked her hand free, turning to face him.The movement brought them too close, his chest nearly brushing hers."I've seen enough."
"Have you?"His smile was sharp and dangerous.She could see the marks the brunette had left on his neck, stark against his skin."Jealous?"
The word hit like a slap.Ashley laughed, the sound raw and bitter."You think that's what this is?That I'm just another girl desperate for your attention?"
"Aren't you?"He stepped closer, backing her against the wall.Heat radiated from his body, achingly familiar yet completely wrong.His hand came up to trace her jaw, and she had to bite back a shudder."You've been watching me all night.Following me.Judging me."
"Trust me," she spat, "you're not that interesting."
Instead of offending him, her words seemed to delight him.His grin widened, showing teeth."No?Then why are you shaking?"
She was shaking, damn him.Whether from anger or desire or the lethal combination of both, she couldn't tell.The alcohol made everything too sharp, too real – the heat of his body, the darkness in his eyes, the way his thumb brushed her lower lip.
"What do you want from me?"he murmured, leaning closer.She could taste the whiskey on his breath and see the flecks of silver in his storm-gray eyes."What are you really doing here, Ashley?"
Her name on his lips was a prayer and a curse.This close, she could almost pretend he was her Cole – but the illusion shattered when she caught the brunette watching them from across the room, triumph written all over her face.
Ashley placed her palm against his chest and pushed."I want nothing from you," she said, her voice steady despite the tears threatening to fall."You're not him.You're not even close."
Something flickered in his eyes – confusion, maybe, or pain."What–"
But Ashley was already moving, shouldering past him into the crowd.She heard him call after her, heard the frustration in his voice, but she didn't stop.She couldn't.
The cool night air hurt her face and limbs as she burst onto the front porch.Her legs finally gave out, and she sank onto the steps, pressing her forehead to her knees as the world spun around her.
"This isn't him," she whispered to herself, the words slurring slightly."This isn't my Cole."
Somehow, she couldn't shake the feeling that maybe this was exactly who he was – who he had been – before grief and love and loss had carved him into the man she married.And for the first time since waking up in this impossible past, Ashley wondered if she really wanted to know all of his shadows, all of his darkness.If loving the man he became meant she had to witness the boy he was destroying himself to forget.
CHAPTER9
Ashley woke to what felt like an ice pick being driven through her skull.The sunlight streaming through her dorm window was offensive, each beam a personal attack.Her mouth tasted like something had died in it, and her stomach rolled ominously with every slight movement.
Fragments of last night floated back - Cole's cruel smile, the brunette's giggle, his hands on her jaw, the way he'd looked at her at the end.The memories made her stomach heave, and she barely made it to the bathroom in time.
Sarah was asleep on her bed, still in last night's clothes.Marie was nowhere to be seen.Ashley couldn't face either of them right now, couldn't bear their concerned looks or inevitable questions.She needed air, space, anything that wasn't the suffocating reminder of last night's humiliation.
She stumbled out of her dorm building wearing whatever clothes she'd managed to grab - leggings, an oversized Yale sweater she didn't remember owning, her hair a mess.The October morning was crisp, but she welcomed the cold.Anything to clear her head.
Her feet carried her without direction until she found herself near the physics building.Of course.Even drunk and lost, some part of her was searching for Cole.She turned to flee, but the sudden movement made her head spin.Her knee buckled, and she would have fallen if strong hands hadn't caught her arms.
"Whoa, careful there."The voice was achingly familiar.Soft and gentle.
Ashley looked up into gray eyes she knew too well - but these weren't cold or cruel.Dale's concerned gaze swept over her face, his grip steady but careful.
"You look like you could use some coffee," he said quietly, no judgment in his tone."And maybe some aspirin."
She should say no.Should pull away and run.But Dale's presence was...steady.Safe.He radiated a calm that Cole had never possessed, even in their future.
"I have both in my apartment," he continued when she didn't respond."It's just around the corner.No pressure, but you look like you might pass out if you try to make it back to your dorm."
His apartment would be private.Quiet.Away from prying eyes and whispered gossip about last night.And something about the careful way he held her as if she might shatter made her nod.
"Okay," she whispered.
Dale didn't crowd her as they walked, keeping a respectful distance while staying close enough to catch her if she stumbled again.His apartment turned out to be in one of the graduate housing buildings - a small but tidy one-bedroom on the third floor.
His apartment was exactly what you'd expect from a serious graduate student - clean lines and organized chaos.Books were everywhere but arranged in careful stacks.Complex equations filled a whiteboard that dominated one wall, the handwriting precise and measured - so different from Cole's impatient scrawl.A single photo sat on the desk: two boys with identical grins, arms slung around each other's shoulders against a lake backdrop.Ashley's heart clenched at the sight.
